<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Stairway to Hell by TwoCrows</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26912266">Stairway to Hell</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoCrows/pseuds/TwoCrows'>TwoCrows</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempted Murder, Attempted Suicide, Blood, Canon Divergence, Dysfunctional Relationship, F/M, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Issues, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Psychological Horror, Self-Hatred, Sexual Content, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, loss of reality, self-delusion, this is going to get worse as we go</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:26:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,566</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26912266</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoCrows/pseuds/TwoCrows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years had passed since the battle at academia. Since then their lives had changed. Their beliefs had changed. They had changed. They tried to go on as normal as they could, tried to rebuild what had been destroyed, tried to start a new life. But it seemed the scars they had received were getting deeper the more time passed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hiiragi Yuzu/Sakaki Yuya, Rin/Sakaki Yuya, Rin/Yugo (Yu-Gi-Oh)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Burden</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="entire"><p class="first">A wave of strange noise knocked against her eardrums, uncomfortably pulling her away from whatever hazy place her mind had just dwelled at. Slowly the noise grew clearer, turned into a lot of voices, all jabbering in chaotic turmoil. </p>
<p class="work">“Rin?” one of them suddenly asked right in front of her. “Rin? Come on. Don’t tell me you fell asleep again.” </p>
<p class="work">Reluctantly she opened her eyes, blinked a few times to get rid of the sleep, before she looked at the girl in front of her. </p>
<p class="work">“Do you want to have an honest answer, Yukari?” she asked grumpily, raising her head from the desk. </p>
<p class="work">Giving out a drowsy yawn she tried to recall at which part she had fallen asleep. She remembered the teacher saying something about exponential functions, but what exactly she couldn’t recall. It had all been so boring. </p>
<p class="work">“So”, Yukari said, gazing around in the suddenly empty classroom. “How about we have lunch too?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin nodded after a second and took out her boxed lunch. </p>
<p class="work">They sat down on a patch of lawn in one corner of the school yard. It might have been a pretty place in summer, but the cold fingers of autumn had already drawn near, turning the trees sickly yellow and brown and covering the sky with a carpet of depressing grey. </p>
<p class="work">“Blow all of them away”, she muttered in a commanding tone. </p>
<p class="work">A sudden wind came up, making her and Yukari’s hair fly. Then it faded as quickly as it had come and the grey canopy remained as thick and impenetrable as before. </p>
<p class="work">Angrily she bit her lip. Well, it wasn’t like it had ever responded to her commands anyway. </p>
<p class="work">“So? How’s your <em>grandmother</em>? I hope her disease isn’t a serious one.” Yukari’s voice sounded cold and she didn’t look at her. Rin needed a moment to understand what she meant. </p>
<p class="work">“I’m sorry. I guess I’m just running out of believable excuses.” </p>
<p class="work">Yukari lowered her gaze. She knew very well that Rin didn’t have a grandmother. Nor parents. Nor anyone else who could be called family. </p>
<p class="work">“How about you stop skipping and try to focus on school? I mean it’s just half a year until we graduate. You’ve been absent almost half of the time and if you’re there you mainly sleep. How do you plan to make it through the exams, huh?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin sighed. “I’m sorry. I know I should do more for school.” </p>
<p class="work">Her gaze trailed off to the shape of the tall tower of LDS in the distance. Right. She should be doing more. After all she had been able to even attend such a school. After the war. After her imprisonment. After the defeat of the professor and the destruction of academia. </p>
<p class="work">When Reiji had told her she could go home, she had thought she’d have to return to the City. Although she had never called that smelling junkyard her home, it was the place she had grown up at. She had heard it had changed lately, probably mainly due to the accomplishments of Yuya and the Lancers, but she felt absolutely no desire to go there. Actually she never wanted to see that goddamn place again. </p>
<p class="work">However, it turned out that hadn’t even been necessary. When she said she didn’t want to go back, Reiji had offered her to come to Standard instead. Since she had nothing else to do, she had agreed and joined the Lancers as they returned home, victorious, although none of them seemed very happy about it. </p>
<p class="work">She hadn’t seen most of them again after that, but their taciturn mood and crestfallen faces were something she hadn’t been able to forget, no matter how much she engaged in school. And she had. She had been so eager to learn, so fascinated by the sheer infinite possibilities of Standard. It had been a shock to her that everyone was able to get education, not just the rich or those talented enough to be deemed worthy of a scholarship, the only thing that could bring someone from the trash heaps of the Commons into the secluded districts of the Topsiders. </p>
<p class="work">However, she had been more than willing to take this chance, more than willing to work herself out of the shambles her life had been. There was so much catch-up she had needed to do, after the half year she had spent in custody of the professor. Although… even before that she had received only scarce scraps of education. She was more than glad when Yukari had offered to help her and they had soon become friends. </p>
<p class="work">Friends… It was kind of a new experience to her. She never had anything like that back in the City. Okay, there was Yugo, but… he had been… special. </p>
<p class="work">Yugo… </p>
<p class="work">Suddenly she started at the sound of her name, only to find Yukari gazing at her. </p>
<p class="work">“I… I’m sorry”, she said. “What did you say?” </p>
<p class="work">Yukari’s eyes softened and a sympathetic look crept over her face. “You had that wistful look again”, she muttered and brushed a strand of her long, chestnut hair behind her ear. </p>
<p class="work">“W-What?” Rin asked with feigned happiness. “I’m alright. You don’t need to worry about me.” </p>
<p class="work"></p>
<p class="work">Still, Yukari’s face didn’t brighten up. Her friend simply knew her too well. Damn it! </p>
<p class="work">“Is it because of your boyfriend? I haven’t seen him in a while. Did the two of you get into a fight?”</p>
<p class="work">Rin cast down her gaze. “No. It’s not like that. I just told him I need a while to think things over.” </p>
<p class="work">“I see.” </p>
<p class="work">Silently Yukari took a bite from her lunch box and stared up at the grey sky. Rin wished it would open for just a moment so she could see the sun again and feel its warm rays on her skin. A leaf fell from the tree not far away from them, spinning in the breeze before it landed in the grass next to her. Rin reached out and picked it up, twisted its stem between her fingers. The once fresh verdure had disappeared, leaving just dry, crumpling brown behind. Its purpose to gather sun for its tree had ended, so it had been shed and left to die. </p>
<p class="work"><em>Losing one’s purpose means to die. </em></p>
<p class="work">Then… why was she still…? </p>
<p class="work">“<em>Rin?</em> Rin?” </p>
<p class="work">Blinking confused, she turned back to Yukari. </p>
<p class="work">“Is really everything alright? You seem so absent today.” </p>
<p class="work">Sighing again, she looked at the withered leaf between her fingers. “It’s nothing you need to worry about”, she said, casting the leaf aside, and got back to her feet. She made a grimace when she felt a tingling sensation in her leg. Damn it! Apparently she had been sitting like that for too long. </p>
<p class="work">“Are you sure? If you feel like going home, I could excuse you. It’s not like Hibiki-sensei would be surprised anyway.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin considered her offer for a few seconds. Then she smiled and shook her head. “Thank you, but… no. After all I can’t miss all of my classes, right?” </p>
<p class="work">After a moment Yukari smiled as well. “I’m glad to hear that.” </p>
<p class="work">She got up and together they made their way back to their classroom. </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p class="first">When Rin returned to her flat a few hours later, she didn’t need to take a look in the mirror to tell how terrible she looked. Without her makeup everyone else would’ve mistaken her for a zombie, half dead as she looked. </p>
<p class="work">Tiredly she dropped her bag into the corner, slipped off her school uniform and fell face-forward onto her bed. Exhaustion sunk down on her and closed her eyes. </p>
<p class="work">Her dreams were weird. Weird and dark and she didn’t dare to try and recall any of them later, at least not until a weight sank down on the mattress beside her and woke her up. A warm smile curved her lips when she recognised the face above her, the gentle, turquoise eyes that looked down at her. </p>
<p class="work">“You’ve come home? Why didn’t you say anything?” </p>
<p class="work">“You looked so pretty I didn’t dare to wake you”, he muttered and stroked his thumb over her bare shoulder. </p>
<p class="work">“Ah, I see”, she purred. “How long are you going to stay?” </p>
<p class="work">He smiled, stripped off his shoes and lay down next to her, placing his arm around her. “As long as you want”, he whispered and brushed a soft kiss onto her forehead. </p>
<p class="work">She let out a cosy sigh and snuggled against him, sinking back into her slumber. </p>
<p class="work">The next time she woke up, the space beside her was cold and vacant. She shivered and pulled the blanket over her. </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p><hr/>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p>
<p class="first">“Oh! Look who’s there. What a rare sight to see you two days in a row, Rin-chan. How come? Is something special today?” </p>
<p class="work">“Fuck off.” </p>
<p class="work">The boy made a deeply hurt face. “Oh, but why? Did I offend you somehow? I’m very sorry. I assure you I didn’t mean to.” </p>
<p class="work">Akashi Kenji… He was a textbook example of an asshole. He seemed to always greet her with that feigned innocence which barely concealed his condescending attitude. Rin didn’t know why, but he had started provoking her the moment she had joined this class. Probably people like him existed in every world, no matter if rich or poor. She had decided she’d simply have to put up with him. </p>
<p class="work">“I think this is a reason to celebrate, don’t you think? How about you have lunch with us today, huh?” </p>
<p class="work">“Not interested”, she replied plainly. “And could you stop trying to come on to me? I already have a boyfriend.” </p>
<p class="work">Without waiting for his answer she tried to walk past him, but he caught her, making her freeze at the touch. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh really? That’s strange. You know, I’ve never seen you with a boy before. Admit it, that’s just an ex-” </p>
<p class="work">He stopped when he met Rin’s sinister scowl. Slowly she lowered her eyes to the hand that rested on her shoulder. </p>
<p class="work">“Take your hands off me”, she said quietly, emphasising each syllable like it was a dagger she wanted to drive into him. </p>
<p class="work">He took away his fingers and the friendly smile disappeared from his face, making way for a scornful smirk. “Oh, now I’m scared”, he muttered. “Hey guys, look. Isn’t out little Rin frightening today?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin heard a chuckle and Akashi’s ever-present sidekicks appeared beside him, a mocking grin on their faces. </p>
<p class="work">“I bet she could murder someone with this look”, Akashi added. </p>
<p class="work">Suddenly Rin felt as if the very air around her had turned into ice-cold water. </p>
<p class="work"><em>Murder… Murder… Murder… </em></p>
<p class="work">She was getting trouble to breathe, her lungs feeling so terribly weak. She sensed the choking taste of blood in her mouth. </p>
<p class="work"><em>I bet she could murder someone… murder someone… </em></p>
<p class="work">She heard voices around her, repeating those words over and over again, laughing gleefully at her, at the sudden terror on her face. </p>
<p class="work"><em>I bet she could murder someone… </em></p>
<p class="work">“Hey!” a sharp voice cut through the blurry veil in front of her eyes. “What are you doing to her?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin blinked, surprised to see Yukari approaching her, an angry look on her face. </p>
<p class="work">“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, Akashi replied, raising his hands in feigned innocence. “We were just saying hello.” </p>
<p class="work">“As if I’d believe that”, Yukari snapped, planting herself right in front of him, so close the taller boy actually backed away from her. “Keep away from her, Akashi Kenji. Do you hear me? Or else you’ll have to deal with me. Come, Rin.” </p>
<p class="work">She grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the dumbfounded boys. </p>
<p class="work">“Th-Thank you, Yukari”, Rin muttered, trying not to let her see how hard she had been shaking just now. </p>
<p class="work">“Never mind those idiots”, Yukari said, anger still vibrating in her voice. “They are just too dumb to find themselves another way to kill time.” </p>
<p class="work">They entered the classroom and went to their desks. From the corner of her eye Rin noticed another message that had been scribbled onto the wood. She simply placed her bag over it. She’d wipe it away during break. </p>
<p class="work"><em>Stay home! </em></p>
<p class="work"><em>Why do you even bother coming? </em></p>
<p class="work"><em>We don’t need you here. </em></p>
<p class="work">Things like that had started to appear on her desk regularly. At some point she had stopped reading them. After all they knew nothing! They hadn’t experienced the terror of academia. They didn’t know how it felt to sit in a cold, lonely tower, without company, just being able to stare through the barred windows, gazing down at the endless waves cresting the water below or up at the foreign, unreal-looking sky that vaulted above. They didn’t know anything of the darkness that lay behind her, so why bother about what they had to say? </p>
<p class="work">Impassively she opened her book and looked towards the teacher who was already writing something on the blackboard. </p>
<p class="work">“So, as we discussed last lesson…” </p></div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Alleviation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="entire">
  <p class="first">The next day Rin didn’t go to school. </p>
  <p class="work">She left her bag in the corner and stepped out into the street. She didn’t have any place she wanted to go, just let her feet decide the way. </p>
  <p class="work">A few kids passed her, giving her questioning glances, probably wondering why she wasn’t having a school bag. </p>
  <p class="work">Rin didn’t care. She didn’t care what other stupid people thought about her. None of them mattered. </p>
  <p class="work">Surprised she glanced up when she found herself in front of an empty playground. She sat down on the rusty swing and listened to the miserable squeal as she slightly moved back and forth. </p>
  <p class="work">Back in the orphanage she had never had anything like this. The closest thing to a swing there had been an old tyre someone had hung on a jolt. The construction had been so fragile she had never dared to mount it. Of course, there had been one blockhead who hadn’t let that stop him. </p>
  <p class="work">Rin couldn’t help but crack a smile as she remembered how loud he had whined while she had treated his bruises. He was such a moron. </p>
  <p class="work">Or… had been. </p>
  <p class="work">She shuddered and got up, the swing bouncing lightly as she walked away. Suddenly she heard a buzzing sound from her pocket. Stopping, she pulled out her phone and gasped in surprise when she saw the blinking message symbol. After a moment of hesitation she pressed it. </p>
  <p class="first">
    <em>Hey Rin, </em>
  </p>
  <p class="first">
    <em>I’m sorry I didn’t call for such a long time. I’ve thought about what you said, about us and, well… I wanted to ask whether you’d like to have ramen with me this evening. </em>
  </p>
  <p class="first">
    <em>I’m aware it might be presumptuous of me to ask this and it’s okay if you don’t want. I’ll be waiting for you. </em>
  </p>
  <p class="work">Tentatively the smile crept back onto her face. She just began to type a reply when suddenly a hand touched her shoulder. She turned around and her eyes grew wide as they met bright, turquoise ones. </p>
  <p class="work">“Hey, Rin”, the boy said, smiling. “Well? I bet you didn’t expect to see me here.” </p>
  <p class="work">Her fingers let go of the phone and she heard it clattering on the hard soil. </p>
  <p class="work">He raised a brow. “What’s wrong, Rin?” He brought his face close to hers and gave her a thorough look. Then a wide grin crept over his face. “Now I see. My sudden appearance has caught you so by surprise you don’t know what to say. That’s understandable. After all it’s been a long time. But still, I’m glad to see you again, Rin.” </p>
  <p class="work">He gazed at her for a moment before his eyes began to shimmer with tears. Then, suddenly, he flung his arms around her, pressing her against him so fiercely she got trouble to breathe. </p>
  <p class="work">“Y-Yugo…” </p>
  <p class="work">Her voice was barely a whisper. A few seconds passed before she dared to put her arm around him as well. </p>
  <p class="work">He… He was here. She could touch him. She could really touch him. She could feel his fingers digging into the fabric of her jacket, could feel his head resting against her shoulder. He was here. </p>
  <p class="work">“Yugo”, she whispered again and squeezed him tightly. Then she felt something sticky between her fingers. When she looked down at her hand, she gasped in shock. </p>
  <p class="work">It was stained dark crimson. </p>
  <p class="work">“N-No! This can’t…” </p>
  <p class="work"><em>Red</em>… A redness that spread over her hand, formed little drips that fell down, quickly turning into large gushes staining the grass below and turning the soil into a dark red lake. It spread out, swallowed the playground around her and a wet, filthy sensation crept up her legs, rising higher and higher. </p>
  <p class="work">“Y-Yugo! Help-” she began and reached out to him, but her arm froze halfway when she met his sad, disappointed gaze. </p>
  <p class="work">Red was leaking through his white jumpsuit, so much, and it kept getting more and more. It reached her chin and desperately Rin threw up her head to catch some more air. But the crimson ocean relentlessly went higher, wandered up her face and entered through her nose and mouth, filling her with a horrific, dreadful sensation. She… She couldn’t breathe. </p>
  <p class="work">Choking heavily, she fell down on her knees. She felt the cold soil beneath her fingers and the soft dampness of the grass. Panicking, her eyes flicked around, but she was alone. The playground was vacant. She stared down at her fingers. There were light stains of dirt, but no signs of crimson. No lake of blood on the ground. No Yugo. </p>
  <p class="work">Closing her eyes, she curled up, rested her forehead against the ground and tried to calm down her breath. Silently she counted up to one-hundred. After that she felt a little better. At least she could think more clearly. </p>
  <p class="work">It… It had felt so real. Yugo holding her in his arms. The blood spreading over her fingers. The terrible sensation when it crept up her body and tried to swallow her up. So… So fucking real. </p>
  <p class="work">Don’t think about that, she told herself. Just focus on the next step. </p>
  <p class="work">Slowly she shifted into a sitting position. With shaking fingers she reached for her pocket only to find it empty. For a moment she felt another surge of panic, but then she remembered. She looked around for a second and… yes. There it was. She picked up her phone, dialled a number and froze, her finger hovering over the green key. For about half a minute she stared down at it. The display of her phone turned dark and yet she still didn’t move. </p>
  <p class="work">Finally she pushed the red key, slipped the phone back into her pocket and got up. Slowly, and with a little swaying steps she left the playground. </p>
  <p class="work"><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  <p class="first">There was only one person she could talk to about this. Or rather… whom she had the courage to talk to about it. </p>
  <p class="work">She knew where she would find him, although she hated every time she went to that place. Uncomfortably she rang the doorbell of the small, cream-coloured house. After a few seconds she heard steps on the other side and a man opened. The shock and the faint spark of hope when he saw her were one of the reasons she hated coming here. </p>
  <p class="work">After a second his expression dropped again and the spark in his eyes disappeared. “He’s up there”, he said, nodding towards the staircase, not quite meeting her gaze. </p>
  <p class="work">“I know”, she muttered and stepped in. </p>
  <p class="work">Carefully she knocked at the door. There was no reply from inside. As always. </p>
  <p class="work">Nevertheless she pushed down the handle and walked into the room she dreaded most in this city. </p>
  <p class="work">The boy inside didn’t look up. He was lying on the bed and gazed at the ceiling. His weary eyes didn’t flick to her until she sat down on the edge of the bed. </p>
  <p class="work">“R-Rin!” he gasped surprised and sat up, giving her more space. “W-What are you doing here? Did you get my message?” </p>
  <p class="work">She nodded. Then she slumped against him, buried her face in his chest and began to sob violently. He froze and after a moment he awkwardly put his arms around her. </p>
  <p class="work">“I… I saw him”, she whispered. “I saw Yugo!” </p>
  <p class="work">“W-What?! But how…?” </p>
  <p class="work">She shook her head. “No, it wasn’t real.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Another hallucination?” he asked sympathetically and began to stroke over her hair. </p>
  <p class="work">They remained like this, whether for minutes or hours, Rin couldn’t tell. Eventually her sobs ceased, but she didn’t ask him to stop comforting her. </p>
  <p class="work">Although she didn’t want to think about it, she grew more and more aware of where she was, of the many photos which, despite, or maybe exactly because of their levity, seemed to pierce her with hateful looks. </p>
  <p class="work">Nobody had lived in this room for three years, but it still carried such a strong feeling of aliveness it choked Rin every time she came. She could sense the many hours that had been spent here, playing, sleeping, doing homework. She could hear the cheerful laughter, the annoyed groans, the angry shouts of the girl who had inhabited this realm. </p>
  <p class="work">Maybe this still lingering atmosphere was what made her feel so uncomfortable. Maybe it was the paper fan that rested on the desk or the pink and white blouses and skirts that were hanging in the wardrobe. Or maybe it was the face that stared at her from most of the photos. The face of an ordinary girl. And yet, it looked so terribly like her own. </p>
  <p class="work">She knew it was the reason he came here nearly every day. Because he could forget just as little as she could. </p>
  <p class="work"><em>Forget…</em> </p>
  <p class="work">Oh, how much had she wanted to do that. To just turn around, run away, leave behind all the pain. And yet, the memories always returned. The more she tried to banish them, the heavier they seemed to weigh down on her. There was only one alleviation for her. </p>
  <p class="work">“Yuya?” she muttered, her head still buried in his chest. “I still want to be your girlfriend.” </p>
  <p class="work">His hand stopped for a moment. Then it wandered down and joined his other hand at her waist. </p>
  <p class="work">“I see”, he whispered and pulled her higher until her ear was right beside his mouth. “I don’t know if I can give you what you are looking for. But I still want to be your boyfriend, Rin.” </p>
  <p class="work">He gave her a tight squeeze.</p>
  <p class="work">She smiled and squeezed him back. If she tried hard enough, she could almost feel as though someone else was holding her. If she tried hard enough, she almost sensed a different pair of eyes looking at her. And yet… </p>
  <p class="work">It was all a lie, nothing more. She knew it, but still she couldn’t help but enjoy the warmth that spread throughout her chest. </p>
  <p class="work">“I know I’m not Yuzu”, she muttered, snuggling into his touch. “But… please, hold me like this for a while.”</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Cursed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="entire"><p class="first">“What’s this, Rin? You seem a lot merrier than usual today.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin looked up and met Yukari’s surprised gaze. “Oh? Really?” </p>
<p class="work">Her friend nodded. “Is there any special reason for that?” </p>
<p class="work">She wondered whether she should tell her about Yuya, but then she decided against it. “Hmm… No. Not at all.” </p>
<p class="work">“It’s something with your boyfriend, right?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin gave out a resigning sigh. “I wonder if I’ll ever be able to keep a secret from you.” </p>
<p class="work">They both gazed at each other for a moment before they started to laugh. </p>
<p class="work">“And? Has he asked you for a date?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin nodded. “Yes. We’re going to the Miracle Land next Friday.” </p>
<p class="work">“Oh really? Okay, Rin. You have to tell me everything next week. I want to hear every little detail.” </p>
<p class="work">“Okay”, Rin said, a little overwhelmed by her friend’s sudden enthusiasm. “But say, Yukari… You’re older than I am. Why don’t you get yourself a boyfriend of your own?” </p>
<p class="work">Suddenly Yukari fell quiet and a slight blush crept onto her cheeks. “I… I didn’t find the right boy yet”, she muttered awkwardly. </p>
<p class="work">A knowing smile curved Rin’s lips. “But there is someone you like.” </p>
<p class="work">Yukari’s eyes flicked up, widening in surprise, thereby confirming Rin’s suspicion. </p>
<p class="work">“And? Where’s the problem?” Rin asked teasingly. “Did you tell him already?” </p>
<p class="work">Yukari shook her head. “No, I… I don’t have the courage to do that.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin raised a brow. “And <em>you</em> told <em>me</em> to go straight forward.” </p>
<p class="work">“I know”, her friend snapped embarrassed. “I… I just can’t. I’m not as strong as you are.” </p>
<p class="work">The smile disappeared from Rin’s face. </p>
<p class="work">Strong? <em>Strong</em>? No, she wasn’t strong. She had never been. As a child she had pretended to be strong by scolding Yugo when he did something reckless or bossing him around. But in truth she had been weak. She hadn’t been able to defend herself and was captured. And even during her imprisonment she had never even tried to escape. </p>
<p class="work"><em>Weak… Weak… Weak…</em> She was weak. Back then and now as well. Even when it had been most important, she had been too weak to fight. And this was her punishment for it. </p>
<p class="work">“Rin?” </p>
<p class="work">Surprised she glanced up and found Yuya’s worried face right next to her. </p>
<p class="work">“What’s wrong? You seem so absent today.” </p>
<p class="work">“I’m sorry”, she said. “I guess I was just a little lost in thoughts.” </p>
<p class="work">She tried to turn to him when she noticed two things. One: A bail was locking her in place. And two: A set of rails sprawled out in front of her. </p>
<p class="work">“I know it’s none of my business”, Yuya said, “But <em>you</em> wanted to ride the Roller Coaster. At least you could try to have a little fun.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin felt her heart starting to beat faster. Roller Coaster? Oh no! Her scream was drowned by those of the people behind her when they reached the edge and started to fall into the depth. </p>
<p class="work">Fifteen minutes later she collapsed onto a bench. Her knees felt as if they were made of jelly and she must be looking more than just a little green around the gills. </p>
<p class="work">“Here”, Yuya said and handed her her soft drink before he sat down beside her. For some reason he had handled the ride much better than she had. How pathetic. It was her who had grown up with a high-speed fanatic, wasn’t it? However, she had to admit, riding a Roller Coaster was something entirely different from riding a Duel Runner. Duel Runners weren’t designed to make people feel queasy. </p>
<p class="work">“So? What do we do next?” Yuya asked, taking a sip from his drink. “Or do you need a bit longer to recover?” He gave her a questioning look. Then he smiled. “I’m sorry. I’m just not used to this.” </p>
<p class="work">He looked so awkward Rin couldn’t help but smile back. “It’s okay. I’m fine. Although I’d prefer something less turbulent.” </p>
<p class="work">They strolled over to a roofed area that was occupied by a maze of mirrors. It was fascinating, Rin thought as she considered her manifold reflexions, staring back at her with the same amazed eyes. There was only diffuse light here as not to disturb the magic impression of this otherworldly place. Everything looked so real. As if she only had to reach out to touch the other Rins beyond the glass. </p>
<p class="work">“Hey, Yuya, let’s go on”, she said to the boy beside her, reaching for his wrist. </p>
<p class="work">To her surprise her fingers smacked against a cold surface. </p>
<p class="work">“Y-Yuya?” she muttered anxiously and glanced around. The other Rins turned in synch with her, but the Yuyas at their side remained how they were. Every time she stepped towards one of them she eventually ran into a double of herself. </p>
<p class="work">She felt as though the manifold faces were all leering at her, gloatingly, laughing at her panic-stricken face. Then all the Yuyas turned their faces, staring directly at her and suddenly they weren’t Yuyas anymore. </p>
<p class="work"><em>“Rin”</em>, all of them said with a painfully familiar voice. </p>
<p class="work">“N-No”, she whispered, crouching down, pressing both hands over her ears, squeezing her eyes shut as hard as she could. “No. This isn’t real. This isn’t real. Yugo… I’m sorry.” </p>
<p class="work">Suddenly a strong pair of hands grabbed her, shook her and she opened her eyes, finding Yuya’s worried face hovering above her. </p>
<p class="work">“Rin! It’s okay! I’m with you!” </p>
<p class="work">“Y-Yuya, I… I…” Her voice failed and she flung her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder. “P-Please. Bring me away from here.” </p>
<p class="work">After a moment he nodded and helped her up, steadying her as they made their way to the exit of the mirrored maze. When she looked at the two figures who slumped alongside them, she caught the gaze of turquoise eyes. Slowly she shook her head. Then she stopped abruptly. </p>
<p class="work">“Rin, what…” Yuya began surprised, only to turn even more surprised as Rin leaned forward and captured his lips. </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p><hr/>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p>
<p class="first">Warm sunlight woke Rin, tickled her nose and made her sneeze. When she opened her eyes, still drowsy with sleep, she saw strands of red and green hair falling over her pillow. Raising her head a little, she considered the rest of Yuya’s face. </p>
<p class="work">A playful smile tugged at her lips and she bent forward, kissing his lips. A low groan escaped his mouth, but he didn’t wake up. Smiling softly, she stroked over the curve of his cheek. </p>
<p class="work">The last weeks had felt like a dream. Yuya had done his best to keep her busy, asking her out nearly every day. She suspected it was because of the panic attack she had had at the hall of mirrors, but she really liked being with him. He was so lively and cheerful, but without being reckless. She found it easier to smile and laugh when he was around her. </p>
<p class="work">And ever since that day she had had neither a hallucination nor a nightmare. Maybe… Maybe she could really find peace around him. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya stirred a little and her smile grew wider. He looked so unbelievably adorable. Leaning forward, she attempted to kiss him again. </p>
<p class="work">“Yuzu…” </p>
<p class="work">The word, so soft and gentle it had been uttered, made her freeze, her lips just inches apart from his. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya’s head turned a little. “Come on, Yuzu. Let me sleep just five more minutes.” </p>
<p class="work">Slowly Rin straightened up. Then she climbed over him, careful not to wake him, and proceeded to put on her clothes before she went to the bathroom. She wasn’t surprised when she met the downhearted eyes of the girl in the mirror. </p>
<p class="work">She didn’t know why she was disappointed or why she felt this sudden uncomfortableness. She had known he would never be hers. The feelings of someone who had disappeared were something impossible to defeat. Who’d know that better than her? </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p class="first">She didn’t wait until he woke up, gulped down a slice of toast and a coffee before she began her walk to school. </p>
<p class="work">Yuzu… Rin never got to know her, or any of the other girls who shared her face for that matter, but she knew Yuya would never forget about her. Whenever he smiled at her, he also smiled at Yuzu as well. It was inevitable. </p>
<p class="work">Rin wasn’t angry at her. How could she? But still, somehow it bothered her. She knew that was egoistic of her. She knew it was wrong and she felt terrible for it. But this was what she had agreed to, wasn’t it? She had known it would be like this and still she had asked for it. She didn’t have a right to complain now. </p>
<p class="work">Probably it was better to cast those thoughts aside and be glad about what he was willing give her, even if it wasn’t for her alone. </p>
<p class="work">She heard a sudden snap and looked up. Confused she looked into the lens of a camera. Her confusion turned into anger when she noticed Akashi and his two sidekicks behind it. </p>
<p class="work">“Did… Did you just take a photo of me?” she asked sinisterly. </p>
<p class="work">“Ah, there it is”, Akashi said to his buddies. “Didn’t I tell you we’d get to see her scowl?” </p>
<p class="work">The boys laughed and the camera clicked again. </p>
<p class="work">Rin looked around. There was nobody else on the schoolyards. Good. “You have ten seconds to delete those photos”, she said and approached them, until she was just a few feet away. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh come on. I just thought I should take a picture of you and put it in the classroom so no one accidentally forgets what you look like.” </p>
<p class="work">His sidekicks doubled up with laughter. </p>
<p class="work">“If you’d look a little friendlier, it could even become a nice one.” </p>
<p class="work">“Four… Three…” </p>
<p class="work">Akashi let out a sigh. “But if you don’t want to…” </p>
<p class="work">He cracked a smile and pushed the trigger once more. </p>
<p class="work">She made a step forward and slapped the camera out of his hand. Surprised, the boys watched it draw an arc through the air until it landed on the hard paving. </p>
<p class="work">Rin heard something break. </p>
<p class="work">She turned around and began to walk towards the entrance. Suddenly a hand caught her shoulder and hurled her around. </p>
<p class="work">“Hey, you bitch”, Akashi hissed and his face was twisted with anger. “Do you know how expensive that thing was?” </p>
<p class="work">“Then I suggest you take better care of it”, she replied, smacking away his arm. She attempted to continue her way when his two buddies grabbed her arms and locked her in place. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh no. I won’t let you get away this easily”, Akashi said in a low voice. </p>
<p class="work">She tried to yank free, but the two boys’ grip was too strong. </p>
<p class="work">“You know, that attitude of yours has been getting on my nerves for a while now. I think it’s time for you to see where your place is.” </p>
<p class="work">He raised his fist and let it fly at her face. Rin gasped and closed her eyes, expecting a pain that didn’t come. Tentatively she opened her eyes again, surprised to see a hand had stopped Akashi’s fist before it had reached her. </p>
<p class="work">“Would you be so kind to tell me what you are doing here?” </p>
<p class="work">“Y-Yuya!” Rin shouted, amazed and happy at the same time. </p>
<p class="work">“What do you want?” Akashi said angrily. “This is none of your business.” </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, yes it is”, Yuya replied sharply. “Anyone who wants to lay hands on my girlfriend needs to get through me first.” </p>
<p class="work">Akashi raised a brow and an amused smile spread over his face. “Really, Rin? Such a wimp is your boyfriend? I have to say, you match well.” </p>
<p class="work">He lowered his hand and turned to Yuya. “Well, boy. Your girlfriend has just broken a very expensive camera of mine. Surely you don’t mind paying up for it, do you?” </p>
<p class="work">“Huh? Really? Is that true, Ri-”</p>
<p class="work">Yuya gasped as he stumbled back and hit the ground. </p>
<p class="work">“No! Yuya!” Once again Rin struggled against the boys’ grip, but they twisted her arms on her back until she gasped in pain. </p>
<p class="work">Akashi smiled as he looked down at Yuya. That bastard! He had tricked Yuya into lowering his guard and punched him right into his gut. </p>
<p class="work">“Let this be a lesson to you”, he said gleefully, before he turned back to Rin. “And now to you, my dear. I think I could forget about the camera if you give me a kiss instead. How about it?” </p>
<p class="work">“Fuck you!” Rin spat into his face. “I’d never kiss someone like you.” </p>
<p class="work">Suddenly his hand shot up and clutched her jaw. “Oh, come one. It’s just a kiss”, he muttered and brought his face close to hers. Rin could see a malicious spark in his eyes. </p>
<p class="work">“Let Go Of Her.” </p>
<p class="work">All of them froze at the cold, hateful sound of the voice. Rin’s eyes grew wide when she recognised it. It was deep and distorted, but it was nevertheless Yuya’s voice. </p>
<p class="work">Akashi turned around and an acknowledging smile crept over his face as he watched Yuya getting back to his feet. </p>
<p class="work">“Wow, you’re tough. But it would’ve been wiser to stay down.” </p>
<p class="work">He threw a punch at him, but Yuya caught his fist easily with one hand and proceeded to bend it back until Akashi gasped in pain. </p>
<p class="work">“I Told You To Let Go Of Her”, Yuya said again in that dark voice. Rin saw his normally flat hair rise and suddenly a terrible dread clutched her heart. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya’s eyes were glowing from within, his crimson eyes shining far brighter than usually. <em>Terrifyingly</em> bright. </p>
<p class="work">“I… I’m sorry”, Akashi winced painfully as he tried to free his hand from Yuya’s grip. “It was foolish of me. I see that now. P-Please let go of me. I promise I’ll never do it again. Please…” </p>
<p class="work">This time Rin heard a crack and Akashi let out a loud scream before he crouched together and clutched his wrist. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya didn’t even look at him as he trod past him. “Do I Need To Repeat Myself?” he asked coldly and even without his demonstration Rin would’ve known he wasn’t going to show any mercy. After a moment she thought she could see a dark shadow gathering around him and suddenly she felt a cold chill in her bones. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya… She remembered. She had seen him like this before. But that had been more than three years ago. </p>
<p class="work">“You bastard”, one of Akashi’s friends growled. Apparently he had regained his composure faster than the other one. Yuya merely raised his arm and suddenly the strongly-built boy flew backwards and crashed into the wall of the school. Pieces of plaster fell down around him and Rin could see a web of cracks running all over the wall up to the first floor. But what terrified her more than that was the sensation she had felt on her skin. A surge of power and bottomless wrath which, although it hadn’t been directed at her, had made every hair on her body stand up. </p>
<p class="work">“Yu-ya. What…?” </p>
<p class="work">Yuya turned towards her and the third boy decided it was wiser to spin around and flee. Yuya looked after him for a moment. Then he turned back to her. He reached out his hand, but before he could touch her face, she squealed and backed away. </p>
<p class="work">For the first time since Yuya’s change, he seemed to be surprised. Rin held his gaze for a few seconds. Then she whipped around and ran away as well. </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p class="first">When she heard his footsteps, she was cowering at the foot of one of the trees that stood on the school grounds, her back resting against the massive trunk. </p>
<p class="work">“R-Rin?” his voice asked, without the deepness from before and a little shaky. “Rin, I… I’m sorry. I can imagine how scared you are now.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin bit the bottom of her lip before she peeped around the trunk. Yuya had stopped a few feet away from her. His arms were falling limply to the side and his head was lowered, obscuring most of his features to her. </p>
<p class="work">“Scared?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears. “I thought you were going to kill me any second!” </p>
<p class="work">His eyes met hers for a moment, his normal, red eyes, and then he ducked his head even further. “Yes. I can imagine that.” </p>
<p class="work">For a while none of them said a word and Rin could feel her pulse calming down again. </p>
<p class="work">“You… felt like an entirely different person, Yuya. Please don’t become like that again.” </p>
<p class="work">Yuya’s fingers curled into a fist. “Do you think I did that on purpose?!” he snapped incensed, although he immediately cast down his eyes when he saw her shocked face. “I’m sorry”, he muttered. “I just wanted to protect you. For you I…” </p>
<p class="work">“No, Yuya!” she replied fearfully. “Don’t claim you did that for me. The way you looked just now… you didn’t injure them because you wanted to protect me. You didn’t even care about me.” </p>
<p class="work">A pained expression crept over Yuya’s face. “You’re right”, he sighed before he stepped closer and sat down beside her, making her back away at first. </p>
<p class="work">He looked normal again, she thought, but she couldn’t banish such a vivid memory from her mind just like that. How he had broken Akashi’s wrist without hesitation, without care. And the absolute coldness and fury in his gaze. </p>
<p class="work">No. She couldn’t forget. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, before I forget”, he began and reached into his bag, pulling out a wrapped-up box which he passed on to her. </p>
<p class="work">“What… What is that?” she asked. </p>
<p class="work">“Your lunchbox. You forgot it in the kitchen.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin stared at him in disbelief. “You… came to bring me this?” she asked. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya nodded, but his for a moment brighter gaze had turned sombre again. “This darkness – Zarc – is still within me”, he muttered. “I can’t hear Yuto’s voice anymore like I used to. But this demon is still here.” He pointed at his heart. “The last time he’s been able to control me has been more than a year ago, so I thought, maybe…” </p>
<p class="work">His voice trailed off. After a moment he shook his head. “I guess I was wrong.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin lowered her gaze. She felt so terrible all of a sudden. For running away. For being afraid of him. She set aside the box, shifted closer and placed a hand on his. </p>
<p class="work">“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” she asked gently. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya sighed again before he turned to her, giving her the saddest gaze she had ever seen on his face. “I… I didn’t want to scare you. You already have so much to endure. I didn’t want to burden you with my problems as well.” </p>
<p class="work">The way he looked at her felt like a dagger in her heart. Yuya… He was so kind to her. What did she do to deserve such kindness? What… What had she ever done to deserve kindness? </p>
<p class="work">Tentatively she leaned against him and rested her head against his shoulder. “Yuya, I’m your girlfriend”, she whispered. “Whom if not me can you burden with your problems?”</p>
<p class="work">“R-Rin…” </p>
<p class="work">He looked back at her with a soft expression in his warm eyes. Cupping her face with one hand, he pushed her back into an upright position and brought his lips down on hers. </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p><hr/>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p>
<p class="first">Then, it had been so easy to say those words, but it turned out to be much harder to live up to them. She managed to stay around Yuya and smile at him, but the deep crimson glow of his eyes remained on her mind, not always right there, but not far enough away to relax either. It even followed her into her dreams. </p>
<p class="work">She often found herself running through some dark alley, but instead of Yuri’s slit-pupils predator eyes she had used to dream of now a pair of crimson glowing eyes chased after her, never-resting, always staying right behind her. These dreams tended to end either with her falling in some infinitely deep, black pit or being swallowed by a wave of terrible darkness while those eyes watched her torment relentlessly and without any hint of warmth or humanity. </p>
<p class="work">When she started up from those nightmares, Yuya was always sound asleep. Only once did he wake up after an especially dreadful one. His eyes had been so full of concern as he asked her to tell him about it. She had made up something about her time at academia, but she hadn’t been able to meet his gaze. Probably he knew she had been lying, but he hadn’t pressed her. </p>
<p class="work">How could she possibly have told him the truth? After he had said he had kept it a secret from her because he hadn’t wanted to scare her. And now exactly that was happening. She was so pathetic. Yuya was the only one she had left. He was the only one who could really understand her and all she could do was being afraid of him. Why…? Why couldn’t she be strong just this once? </p>
<p class="work">If she had been stronger back then… could Yuya have been freed of this burden? </p>
<p class="work">Right. When she had seen him for the first time, on the other side of the glass tube she had been locked into, he had been in that state as well. Together with Reiji he had fought the professor, Akaba Leo, Reiji’s father. That was when the other girls had all disappeared, absorbed into the great machine that was meant to fuse all of them into one. </p>
<p class="work">Rin didn’t know why she alone had remained. She didn’t know what had gone wrong, but somehow the professor’s plan failed and she had been rescued. Then she had watched the duel between Yuya and Yuri, the boy who had captured her and the most dangerous soldier of academia. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya had won. With that academia’s defeat had been sealed, although the fighting had continued for much longer. She wondered what would’ve happened if she hadn’t survived, if she had disappeared, just like the others had. Would the professor’s daughter have been revived? Would… Would she have been able to lift Zarc’s curse and free Yuya? </p>
<p class="work">Was all of this her fault in the end? </p>
<p class="work">“Hey, Rin? What’s with that glum look on your face?” </p>
<p class="work">She looked beside her and gazed into Yuya’s warm eyes. She opened her mouth, but closed it again, not quite able to find any words. </p>
<p class="work">“It’s okay”, Yuya whispered gently, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her back on the sheets. His thumb soothingly stroked over her arm. “Whatever it is, it can’t harm you here. Now try to find some more sleep.” </p>
<p class="work">His touch felt so good, so soft, that she wanted to melt into it, wanted to let his reliable arms carry her somewhere the nightmares couldn’t find her. She wanted nothing more. And yet, she still felt this thorn of guilt deep within her. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, Yuya”, she whispered. “I wish you were right.” </p></div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. True Demon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="entire"><p class="first">Rin noticed Akashi and his peers now seemed to stay as far away from her as possible now. Although she was glad she didn’t need to deal with their unnerving provocations, she couldn’t really feel happy about it. Not after what had happened. </p>
<p class="work">Apart from that there were little things that changed. Yuya was as attentive and kind to her as always and she returned his endearments, ignoring the faint impression of fear that lingered in some remote corner of her mind. She went to school more often, although there were still days when she couldn’t bring herself to go there. Yuya accepted that and Rin was grateful he didn’t try to talk her into doing something she didn’t want. </p>
<p class="work">It was during one of those days when she stayed at home, not having the strength to go out and put on her usual stony façade, that she heard the doorbell. Confused she rolled herself out of bed and plodded to the hallway. </p>
<p class="work">She was still wondering if Yuya could’ve returned from school already when she opened the door and found Yukari in front of it. Only, she didn’t look like the Yukari she knew at all. Her hair was in a complete mess, her eyes were reddened and she hadn’t put on any makeup. </p>
<p class="work">“Y-Yukari, what… what happened to you?” she asked in bewilderment. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, Rin… Could… Could we talk for a while? I… didn’t know whom else I could turn to”, Yukari said, her voice sounding frail and shaky. </p>
<p class="work">Rin nodded and stepped aside, allowing her to come in. She made two cups of tea for them before she and Yukari sat down on the couch. Now that she had time to examine her friend closer, Rin found she looked even worse than she had thought at first. Her usually neatly braded chestnut hair was hanging loose and started to mat already, her eyes were glazed with a shimmering film, red streaks were running over her cheeks and she looked like she could burst into sobs any moment. She must’ve cried all night. </p>
<p class="work">“So?” Rin asked considerately. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” </p>
<p class="work">Yukari gazed at her uncomfortably. Then she cast down her eyes. “I… I thought a lot about what you said to me.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin raised a brow, trying to figure out what she meant, but she didn’t dare to interrupt her. </p>
<p class="work">“And… you know, you were right. It was pretty pathetic of me to tease you about your relationship while I was too scared to start one of my own. So… So, I…” </p>
<p class="work">“You confessed?” Rin continued sympathetically. </p>
<p class="work">Yukari nodded. </p>
<p class="work">“And he turned you down?” </p>
<p class="work">Another nod. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, Rin, what… what am I supposed to do? I… I can never…” Yukari’s voice caught and turned into a miserable sniffle. </p>
<p class="work">Rin leaned forward and pulled her friend into a hug. She felt her tears wetting her shirt, felt her trembling body in her arms, but there wasn’t much she could do except to hold her and stroke over her back. </p>
<p class="work">“Shhh… You don’t need to cry”, she muttered soothingly. “I know it doesn’t look like that at the moment, but it’s going to be alright.” </p>
<p class="work">“I… I don’t think he… even noticed I… I was there”, Yukari sobbed helplessly. “And the first time he did, I… I said… something so embarrassing…” </p>
<p class="work">“It’s okay”, Rin whispered. “It’s okay to feel like that.” </p>
<p class="work">Gently she stroked over her friend’s head. “Believe me. I know what I’m talking about.” </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, Rin…” Yukari muttered, squeezing her arms tighter. “How am I supposed to face him again? I’m scared! I’m scared of the way he’s going to look at me.” </p>
<p class="work">Something inside of Rin tightened painfully. </p>
<p class="work">Scared? Scared of how…? The image of two glowing red eyes flashed through her mind. Rin quickly shook her head to get rid of them, but the imprint of that blazing crimson hue remained for another few seconds. </p>
<p class="work">Scared… Was she… scared of Yuya? Was she scared of the darkness slumbering inside him? </p>
<p class="work">“You’re going to be fine”, she muttered and felt awful for it. “I’m sure he doesn’t take offence. And if he does, he’s only an idiot not worth dating anyway, right?” </p>
<p class="work">Yukari’s body trembled again, not with a sob this time, but with a faint, insecure laugh. “Right”, she whispered. “Thank you, Rin.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin smiled as she squeezed her friend again, although it waned for a moment when she thought she saw a flash of crimson just behind the window. </p>
<p class="work"><em>Scared… </em></p>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p><hr/>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p>
<p class="first"><em>“Are you scared of him?” </em></p>
<p class="work">Rin stirred at the distant sound of the voice. Slowly she opened her eyes and found herself staring at a white ceiling. Everything around her seemed to be white and pearly, the ceiling, the walls and also the soft, warm bed she was resting in. This room didn’t look like the dirty, shabby dorm in the orphanage or the controlled mess of her flat. She couldn’t really place it, but… something made her feel like it didn’t matter. </p>
<p class="work">“Are you scared of him?” </p>
<p class="work">She turned her head and met the sight of a familiar face. </p>
<p class="work">“Y-Yugo… You’re alive?” </p>
<p class="work">Confusion crept over his innocent face. Rin reached for his hand. It felt solid and warm and his white jumpsuit was whole and devoid of blood. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, thank goodness”, she whispered. “I dreamt you had died, but it’s okay. You’re here with me.” </p>
<p class="work">Yugo’s face changed from confused to serious again, a look she hadn’t seen very often. </p>
<p class="work">“Are you scared of him?” he repeated. </p>
<p class="work">“You mean Yuya?” She dug her fingers into the white blanket that had been spread over her. “I’m not sure. There’s a deep darkness in his eyes. A darkness that frightens me.” She shook her head and raised her gaze again. “But he’s also nice and caring. I cannot condemn him. After all, what happened wasn’t his fault.” </p>
<p class="work">“I see”, Yugo muttered and closed his eyes before he looked at her, firmly and with a sincere look on his face. “Do you love him?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin gasped and backed away, shocked to hear this question from him out of all people. This question that she had been too afraid to ask herself. </p>
<p class="work">“I… I…” </p>
<p class="work">Yuya… He was cute and she liked being around him, but… that… that wasn’t the reason she wanted to be with him. </p>
<p class="work">“No, I don’t love him”, she said sorrowful. “Yuya… He reminds me of you. That’s why.” She looked back at Yugo, met his genuine look. “You’re the one I love, Yugo. You always will be.” </p>
<p class="work">Yugo smiled, happy, although not without a hint of sadness. </p>
<p class="work">Rin lowered her gaze. “It wasn’t a dream, right? What I saw…” She looked down at her fingers, remembered the blood on them. “This. This is the dream. That means you are…” </p>
<p class="work">Yugo nodded. </p>
<p class="work">The next thing she knew was that she woke up in her bed, Yuya’s calmly breathing body beside her. She hadn’t lied, she thought as she considered his sleeping face. She didn’t love him. </p>
<p class="work">But… But… Yuya looked so much like him. He looked so much like the boy she loved. Carefully she bent forward and brushed a kiss onto his soft lips. </p>
<p class="work">It didn’t matter if she didn’t love him. It didn’t matter if he didn’t love her. He was her Yugo now. </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p><hr/>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p>
<p class="first">“So, have you two been on any dates recently?” Yukari asked when they went out onto the schoolyard and began their walk home. </p>
<p class="work">She was back to her old self again. Nothing reminded of how distraught she had been when she had popped up in front of Rin’s door. </p>
<p class="work">“Hmm… yes, we’ve been in a sushi bar on Tuesday. If you want to call that a date.” </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, I see”, Yukari replied somewhat disappointed. </p>
<p class="work">Rin couldn’t help but smile at her friend’s eagerness to learn about every detail of her relationship. Probably that was a habit of her that would never disappear. </p>
<p class="work">“Hmm… I’ve been wondering…” Yukari began when they reached the street and turned to the right, only to freeze on the spot. </p>
<p class="work">“Huh? What’s wrong?” Rin asked, stopping as well. </p>
<p class="work">“R-Rin. There…” Yukari pointed at the person leaning against the wall that enclosed the school grounds. </p>
<p class="work">“Y-Yuya?” Rin asked surprised. </p>
<p class="work">His head flicked up at the sound of his name and a smile grew over his face when he noticed them. </p>
<p class="work">“Hi, Rin.” </p>
<p class="work">“Hi. But… What are you doing here?” </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, umm…” With a somewhat awkward look he scratched his cheek. “I’ve finished earlier today and thought I’d pick you up. At least if you don’t mind…” </p>
<p class="work">“Umm… I don’t know if…” Rin glanced at Yukari and was surprised when her friend suddenly gave her a slight push. </p>
<p class="work">“Ah, I just remembered I have an important appointment. I’m sorry, Rin. See you.” </p>
<p class="work">“But…” Rin began. </p>
<p class="work">“Have fun, will you?” Yukari said, giving her a conspiratorial wink before she disappeared around the next corner. </p>
<p class="work">That girl… </p>
<p class="work">“So, umm… Would you mind if we stop by a snack bar on the way?” Yuya asked. “I haven’t had lunch yet.” </p>
<p class="work">She raised a brow.  “Lunch? It’s past four o’clock already.” </p>
<p class="work">He chuckled awkwardly. “Yes, I know.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin smiled and linked arms with him. “How about we go to a café instead?” </p>
<p class="work">Yuya gave her a surprised look which, after a moment, turned into his adorable smile. The same smile that reminded her so much of Yugo. “Sounds good.” </p>
<p class="work">They went to a small café Rin had visited with Yukari a few times. Rin ordered a coffee and Yuya a couple of sandwiches and they sat down at an empty table. </p>
<p class="work">Rin glanced around, half expecting her friend to be watching from somewhere. </p>
<p class="work">“So, will you tell me the real reason you came?” </p>
<p class="work">Without turning his head Yuya looked aside. “I don’t know what you mean”, he said with feigned innocence. </p>
<p class="work">Rin sighed. “Yuya, there’s one thing you and Yugo have in common. You’re both terrible liars.” </p>
<p class="work">When she noticed Yuya’s surprised stare, she frowned before she realised what she had just said. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh! I… I’m sorry……” </p>
<p class="work">“No. It’s okay”, Yuya interrupted her and placed his hand on her arm. “I was just surprised. It’s rare for you to say his name in my presence.” He let out a nervous chuckle. </p>
<p class="work">She looked down at their hands, turned her palm and entwined her fingers with his. “I see. So?” </p>
<p class="work">Yuya sighed. “But it’s true. I had no special reason to come. Well… except I… wanted to see your face again.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin’s lips started to curve into a smile at such a cute remark, but they froze when she looked into his eyes and saw what he had really wanted to say. </p>
<p class="work"><em>I wanted to see Yuzu’s face again. </em></p>
<p class="work">She lowered her gaze for a moment. Then she decided to put these thoughts aside. She was here and he was as well. This moment was theirs. </p>
<p class="work">“Here’s your coffee, Miss.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin looked up at the young waitress. Hastily she took away her arms to allow her to put the cup down in front of her. </p>
<p class="work">“And here your sandwiches, Mis-”</p>
<p class="work">The waitress suddenly froze and time actually seemed to move slower as Rin watched her fingers letting go of the plate in her hand and it tilted downwards, shattering into hundreds of fragments when it hit the ground.</p>
<p class="work">“Y-You” the woman gasped, backing away from them, her eyes rigidly fixed on Yuya. “It… It really <em>is</em> you.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin’s gaze flicked to him, but Yuya was as clueless as she was. </p>
<p class="work">“Umm… Have we met before?” he asked. </p>
<p class="work">The woman’s disbelieving face turned into a sudden mask of ire and she pointed her finger at Yuya as if it was a lance. </p>
<p class="work">“You! Don’t play dumb! I saw you! I saw you at academia! I saw you killing my friends!!” </p>
<p class="work">Yuya’s eyes suddenly grew wide and he stared back at her, his look no less petrified than hers had been just a moment ago. </p>
<p class="work">“Hey, Machi-chan. What’s all this about?” one of the other waiters asked in a calming tone. </p>
<p class="work">“This… This is him!” she shouted enraged. “This is the boy I’ve told you of! The boy with the glowing eyes! That <em>monster</em>!!” At the last word she reached for the ashtray on the table behind her and threw it at Yuya. It hit him against the head and he fell backwards, his chair turning over with him. </p>
<p class="work">“Yuya!” Rin shouted in shock and rushed to him. “Yuya, are you alright?” </p>
<p class="work">“I’m okay”, he groaned and raised his head, giving her what was probably supposed to be a reassuring smile. A streak of blood ran down from his temple. </p>
<p class="work">Rin gasped, fished a handkerchief out of her pocket and began to dab his forehead. </p>
<p class="work">“N-No”, he tried to protest. “I’m okay.” </p>
<p class="work">“Shut up”, she cut him off and smacked away his hand. Then she turned around to the outraged waitress. “Hey, you! What do you think you’re doing there?” </p>
<p class="work">The woman huffed and pushed away the hand of the other waiter who tried to stop her. “What I’m doing here? How can you even ask that after what he’s done?” </p>
<p class="work">“But you’ve got the wrong one”, Rin insisted. “The boy you’re looking for is Yuri, so don’t you dare to…” She stopped when suddenly she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. </p>
<p class="work">Surprised she turned back to Yuya. He was looking at her with narrowed, sad eyes and shook his head. “I’m sorry. But it’s not Yuri she’s talking about.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin felt something cold clutch her innermost self and she could do nothing but to stare at him. </p>
<p class="work">“After I defeated Yuri and became one with him”, Yuya continued with a broken voice, “I was overwhelmed by Zarc’s will and went berserk throughout academia. I… I killed everyone who got in my way until Reiji and dad managed to restrain me again.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin opened her mouth to say something, but no words passed over her lips. She didn’t have much memories of that day, especially not of what had happened after she had been freed from that glass tube. She had never thought that… </p>
<p class="work">“Hah! There you have it”, the waitress said in a triumphant tone. “He really <em>is</em> a monster.” </p>
<p class="work">This time a flower vase flew Yuya’s way, but it missed him and shattered on the ground behind him. </p>
<p class="work">“Stop!” Rin shouted and threw herself in front of Yuya. “Please! Stop this useless violence!” </p>
<p class="work">The woman’s gaze turned into a deadly scowl. “Useless violence?” she hissed. “What about my friends who got killed before my very eyes without even a chance to defend themselves? Wasn’t that <em>‘useless violence’</em> as well?” </p>
<p class="work">She reached for another ashtray and threw it at her. Rin raised her arms, but the heavy piece of china crashed against her chest and she lost her balance, falling hard on her backside. </p>
<p class="work">“No! Rin!” Yuya shouted, before he turned back to the woman. “You can hurt me all you want, but leave Rin out of this!” </p>
<p class="work">“That’s enough, Machi-san”, an older man, probably the keeper, said and together with the other waiter he held back the woman. </p>
<p class="work">“No!!” she screamed, flailing wildly at their grip. “I’m not going to accept this! How can that boy simply walk around as if nothing happened?!” </p>
<p class="work">The two men wrestled with her for a few seconds. When she wasn’t able to escape their grip, she let out an angry shout and lashed out with her foot, kicking over the table Yuya and Rin had been sitting at. Rin barely saw the metallic edge of the table race down on her, until suddenly it stopped right in front of her face. </p>
<p class="work"></p><p class="work">Her heart was racing so fast she thought it would burst any moment. Still shocked from the sensation of the table falling at her, she turned her head and found a hand holding the edge. Though… as she looked at it, a dark shadow began to form around it. </p>
<p class="work">“I Told You To Leave Her Out Of This”, Yuya said from behind her. Only it was the deep, relentless voice she had feared so much to hear again. </p>
<p class="work">He levered the table aside as if it wasn’t heavier than a matchbox. The woman and the two men stared at him, disquieted by his sudden change. Then the woman’s eyes grew wide with dread. </p>
<p class="work">“R-R-Red”, she whispered. “Red eyes…” </p>
<p class="work">“No! Don’t hurt him!” Rin shouted and threw herself in front of Yuya again as the woman pulled free of the men’s grip and threw another vase. It stopped in midair and fell to the ground. </p>
<p class="work">“Yuya?” Rin asked and turned around, looking into his deep crimson eyes which seemed to burn from within. He raised his hand and one moment later the woman and the two men were thrown backwards, knocking over several tables and chairs before they came to a stop. None of them got back to their feet. </p>
<p class="work">Again Rin was shocked by the terrible sensation that had washed over her arm, making her hairs stand up like an electric charge. It had been stronger than last time. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya took a step forward, his arm still raised. </p>
<p class="work">“No… Yuya, no! You have to stop this!” she said loudly, blocking his path. </p>
<p class="work">When she met his eyes, she found nothing in them but cold, unyielding resoluteness. </p>
<p class="work">“Yuya… Yuya, please!” she shouted when suddenly he grabbed her wrist and shoved her aside. It was such a small, careless move, as if he was flicking away an insect that had landed on his arm. Then he turned back to the three unconscious people. </p>
<p class="work">“Yuya, no!!” She threw herself against him with all the force she had and they fell, Rin landing on top of him. </p>
<p class="work">His once so soft features looked so hard, so completely unmovable. His eyes didn’t seem to recognise her, although she was right in front of his face. </p>
<p class="work">This was Zarc, she realised. This was the demon that had nearly destroyed the worlds. </p>
<p class="work">Something inside of her stopped moving and her body grew cold. The things around her suddenly seemed distant, as though she perceived them through a blurry veil. A loud, ringing sound filled her ears. All she could see clearly was the glow of the two eyes before her, radiating like two crimson novae. </p>
<p class="work"><em>Oh, Yuya. Please, come back to your senses! Please! Wake up! Fight against Zarc! I don’t… I don’t want to see you like this. </em></p>
<p class="work">He seemed to respond to her thoughts, for the glow of his eyes waned and they returned to how they used to be, albeit wide with shock and confusion. She saw his lips moving, heard him call her name. Then panic flashed through his eyes. </p>
<p class="work">“It’s okay”, she muttered. “It’s okay. Don’t be afraid.” </p>
<p class="work">“Rin, what…” he whispered with a choked voice and stared downward. </p>
<p class="work">Rin followed his gaze to the two hands that were wrapped around his throat, tightly squashing his windpipe. <em>Her</em> hands. </p>
<p class="work">The ringing in her ears faded and she could hear his choked, desperate attempts to gasp for breath, could feel his throat bulging beneath her fingers. </p>
<p class="work">Realisation struck her like a thunderbolt and she immediately released him. Confusion and horror raged through her head as she stared down at him, coughing and gasping, his breath going in and out with a rattling sound. Then she stared at her hands, unable to comprehend – no, unable to even think of what she had just tried to do. </p>
<p class="work">She… She… She… She had tried… to… strangle him? </p>
<p class="work">This couldn’t be true! This was just another hallucination like the others! It just couldn’t be! </p>
<p class="work">Still, when she met his eyes, she knew it wasn’t a hallucination. And it wasn’t a nightmare either. He was staring at her and his eyes were wide with terror. He… He was afraid. Afraid of <em>her</em>! </p>
<p class="work">Rin slid off of him and somehow tumbled back to her feet. Without bringing out a word she turned and ran, ignoring the crowd that had gathered around the café, ignoring the shouts to stop her. She ran, ran, ran. Her legs started to hurt and her lungs started to burn, but she nevertheless ran on. </p>
<p class="work">Suddenly her foot caught on a loose stone and she fell flat on her face. A searing pain flashed over her arms, her head swirled from the sudden stop and she couldn’t get back to her feet. Slowly she shifted to her knees and leaned against the wall of the alley, staring blankly at the shabby, graffiti-covered wall across her, though without actually seeing any of it. </p>
<p class="work">She wouldn’t have been able to meet his gaze for just one more second. The fright and terror in his eyes had been more terrifying than anything she had felt before. </p>
<p class="work">She felt nauseous at the mere thought of it. She shivered and a moment later she bent forward and coughed up whatever her stomach might contain. When she was certain nothing else would follow, she leaned back and gasped for breath. Then she grew aware of the disgusting sensation in her mouth and spat out as much of it as possible. </p>
<p class="work">After that she dragged herself a few feet away before she limply slumped to the ground. Her blank gaze wandered to her hand. The hand that had just tried to kill Yuya. And the hand that had… </p>
<p class="work">Squeezing her eyes shut, she curled up and began to shake as wild and uncontrolled sobs racked her. </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p class="first">She didn’t know how much time had passed, but eventually she heard footsteps, stopping at the end of the alley for a moment before they moved in her direction. She curled up tighter and pressed herself against the wall, hoping they’d just pass by and ignore the pathetic girl on their path. </p>
<p class="work">“You shouldn’t lie here, Rin.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin glanced up, half expecting to find Yuya above her. The face she saw instead turned out to be even worse. </p>
<p class="work">She lowered her head so he didn’t see her tears. “Go away. Leave me alone.” </p>
<p class="work">After a second he bent down and touched her arm, but Rin smacked away his hand. </p>
<p class="work">“Stop looking at me”, she muttered as she noticed his confused glance. </p>
<p class="work">“But Rin-”</p>
<p class="work">“I said leave me alone! So get… get lost.” </p>
<p class="work">She turned away from him. She didn’t want him to see her like this. She didn’t want to face him. She couldn’t. </p>
<p class="work">“Rin… What’s wrong?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin felt tears welling up in her eyes again and she curled up, pressing her face against the wall. </p>
<p class="work">“Why should I tell you about it?” she asked weakly. “It’s none of your business anymore.” </p>
<p class="work">She started when she felt his gentle hand on her shoulder. “But, Rin. I’m your friend. Please tell me about it.” </p>
<p class="work">Her chest tightened up and she clenched her teeth. This soft, considerate voice… For such a long time she had craved to hear it, but now the mere sound of it pierced her heart like a nail, impossible to endure. </p>
<p class="work">“Rin…” </p>
<p class="work">Before he could speak on she whirled around and pushed him back. “Leave me alone! You’re dead, Yugo!” </p>
<p class="work">Slow as treacle confusion crept over his sympathetic features. He stared down at her as if she had gone crazy. Probably that wasn’t even very far from the truth. </p>
<p class="work">“What… What are you talking about, Rin?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin cast down her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself. “You’re dead”, she whispered. “I… I… I… I killed you.” </p>
<p class="work">Tears blurred her vision once again. They didn’t even stop to come when she squeezed her eyes shut. After a while she opened them again and noticed she was alone. </p>
<p class="work">Sobs began to shake her violently and slowly she slumped forward, her forehead touching the hard ground beneath. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, Yugo… Please… Please come back.” </p></div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Shadows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="entire"><p class="first"><em>Murderess… </em></p>
<p class="work">That’s what she was. That’s who she was. A foul, detestable, disgusting murderess. Her hands were red with blood. Yugo’s blood. The blood of her best friend. Her only friend. Her… family. </p>
<p class="work">For all this time she had run away from those memories. For the entire three years she had tried to banish them from her mind. His shocked expression when she gazed down at him. The red spot that spread on his chest as well as the red puddle that formed beneath him. So terrifyingly red. </p>
<p class="work">She wasn’t at fault. The doktor’s parasite that had been implanted into her brain had made her do it. She hadn’t acted on her free will. </p>
<p class="work">At least that’s what she had told herself over and over again. But deep within her she knew that wasn’t true. She hadn’t tried to fight. She hadn’t tried to regain control over her body. She… She hadn’t done anything! </p>
<p class="work">And now she had once again nearly taken a life. Once again she had nearly killed the person who was most dear to her. Once again she had been spattered with blood. </p>
<p class="work"><em>Blood… Blood… Blood… </em></p>
<p class="work">It was all around her, tried to consume her. Her path had the colour of crimson, the houses on both sides just ghastly shades without depth, the asphalt beneath her feet a trail of blood, squelching with every mechanical step she made. Stars were shimmering above her, though they seemed far away, their twinkle a mocking laughter. </p>
<p class="work">She noticed a door in one of the shadowy house fronts and turned toward it. It opened on its own before she had even raised her hand. Standing beyond it was a girl with short greenish hair, two lighter bangs framing her face, falling past her shoulders. That was her. Rin. </p>
<p class="work">Her doppelganger smiled, though it was not a merry one. Her eyes looked somewhat cold and gleeful as they met hers. Strangely she felt not repelled by that sight. </p>
<p class="work">Slowly she raised her hand, cupping her cheek and she noticed her doppelganger did the same. Then Rin let her hand wander over her lips, palpated the sadistic curve they formed. It widened and her double’s did so too. </p>
<p class="work">“You are me”, a ghastly voice whispered. “You can’t escape yourself. Never.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin wasn’t able to tell who of them had uttered the words. </p>
<p class="work">Her doppelganger took a step forward and so did she, reaching out her hand for that ghastly girl. Their fingertips touched and melted into each other without posing any resistance. The next step brought them face to face and Rin took a moment to consider the cruel, hard eyes in front of her. </p>
<p class="work">“Don’t forget”, they said before they took the final step. </p>
<p class="work">Their bodies became one and everything dissolved into blackness. </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p class="first">Rain poured down on Rin as she climbed up the steps to her flat. Silently she hung up her jacket and took off her shoes before she walked into her bed- and living room. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya was standing in front of the window, his back turned towards her, and stared out at the grey clouds. </p>
<p class="work">Rin approached him and stopped a few feet away from him. She opened her mouth, but closed it again, unsure what to say. After all what could she say? There was no apology she could give. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya turned around. To Rin’s shock there was neither hatred nor fear in his gaze. Actually there was nothing inside it, apart from a deep sadness. </p>
<p class="work">Without saying a word he stepped in front of her, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Rin couldn’t find it in herself to stop him and so he continued, his kisses growing deeper, fiercer. She supposed it should’ve been a pleasant feeling, something to enjoy, but right now she couldn’t feel anything. </p>
<p class="work">When his hands slid beneath her shirt, she stopped and turned away. Yuya stared at her for a moment before he cast down his eyes. </p>
<p class="work">“I’m sorry.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin turned back to look at his face. “Why do you say that?” she muttered. “You know it’s me who should be sorry.” </p>
<p class="work">His gaze grew sadder for a moment. He lowered his head until his forehead knocked against hers. </p>
<p class="work">A wry smile began to tug at Rin’s lips. “Aren’t you angry at me?” </p>
<p class="work">Slowly he shook his head. “No, Rin.” </p>
<p class="work">“I see.” She raised her head, gazed into his dull crimson eyes for a second before she leaned forward and kissed him. It was only a brief kiss and none of them made any attempt to go further. </p>
<p class="work">Rin lowered her eyes again. “How foolish of you.” </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p><hr/>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p>
<p class="first">Incoherent words and numbers filled Rin’s mind as she tried to follow the lesson. </p>
<p class="work">In the year 13752 the Oda Clan had vanquished the European invaders and built the Tokyo Tower as a symbol of victory. During the celebration Oda Nobunaga had offered his new concubine one fifth of his realm along with a huge plate of raw goose liver. She had rejected because she couldn’t stand the cackling. After she had left with her servants she wrote a letter to her late brother in which she explained the square solution to the Pythagorean Rice Problem. </p>
<p class="work">Ugh… This didn’t make any sense. She didn’t hear the ring of the school bell, but the other students around her suddenly started moving, so she guessed it must be some break now. </p>
<p class="work">A glance at the clock told her it was just half past eleven. Great. There’d be five more lessons until she could go back home. </p>
<p class="work">“Hey, Rin”, Yukari said as she popped up beside Rin’s desk. </p>
<p class="work">“What?” she asked when she noticed her friend’s concerned look. </p>
<p class="work">“Are you okay? You look terrible.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin let out a sigh. She had tried to cover the dark bags under her eyes with a thick layer of makeup, but she guessed it was still obvious she had barely found any sleep in the past few days. </p>
<p class="work">“I’m fine”, she insisted and got up, when suddenly the entire room began to swirl around her. Probably she would’ve collapsed if Yukari hadn’t supported her in time. </p>
<p class="work">“No, you’re not. You look pale. I think you should go to the infirmary.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin considered her for a moment before she nodded. “Yes, you’re right. Thank you.” </p>
<p class="work">Yukari gave her a warm smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll tell the teacher you’ve gone home. And now get some rest.” </p>
<p class="work">As if that would be so easy, Rin thought wryly as she made her way to the infirmary. Although she was so tired the other students around her appeared like hazy, faceless figures, Rin knew she wouldn’t find any sleep. Not with the shadows that lurked in her dreams. Not with the crimson thread that ran through all of them. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, Rin. What can I do for you?” </p>
<p class="work">She blankly gazed at Dr. Minamoto, the school doctor. He was a kind man in his late twenties and he had helped Rin a few times before. She suspected he was well aware her non-attendance from school didn’t have medical reasons as she had claimed, but he had never inquired her about this. </p>
<p class="work">“I need to sleep”, she muttered. </p>
<p class="work">“And that’s why you came-”</p>
<p class="work">“But I don’t want to.” </p>
<p class="work">He gave her a confused glance, but after a second Rin saw a spark of understanding. </p>
<p class="work">“Wait a moment. I’ll give you something”, he said and turned to the cabinet behind him. “So, I heard you broke Akashi’s arm?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin knew he had just said this to distract her, but for a moment she heard his pained scream ring in her head and it reminded her of another scream. And of the blood that followed it. </p>
<p class="work">“Did he say so?” she asked. </p>
<p class="work">“No, I just heard a few kids talk about it and how he’s started to avoid you after it.” </p>
<p class="work">“I see. But, no. It wasn’t me.” </p>
<p class="work">“What a pity. I would’ve congratulated you.” </p>
<p class="work">Surprised, Rin raised a brow. </p>
<p class="work">Dr. Minamoto sighed. “I know, as a doctor I shouldn’t say this, but I don’t feel very sorry for him.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin cracked a faint smile. “I’ll deliver your congratulations.” </p>
<p class="work">He smiled as well. Then his face lit up. “Ah, there it is.” He turned around and handed her a cardboard box. “Here. Take one of these pills before you go to sleep. They’re going to help.” </p>
<p class="work">“Thanks, doctor”, she said, accepting the box. </p>
<p class="work"><em>“You don’t need to thank me. And now have a nice sleep, my dear.” </em></p>
<p class="work">Dr. Minamoto frowned confused when he noticed her wide stare. “Is something wrong?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin shook her head, though it took her a few seconds before she could tear her eyes away from his face. Hastily she walked out of the room and hurried down the corridor. </p>
<p class="work">For just a brief moment his young face had changed into a different one. A gaunt, hollow one, framed by strands of long, filthy white hair. She shuddered at the mere thought of it, at the mere thought of those disgusting fingers stroking over her face, of the terrible, half-sane laughter that rang in her ears. </p>
<p class="work">After a few corners she noticed the pills she was still holding in her hand. She knew it was Dr. Minamoto who had given them to her. She knew she could trust him. Nevertheless she threw them into the next dustbin. </p></div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Disappear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="entire"><p class="first">Once again he gazed at her with that terrible, disbelieving, hopeful look in his eyes. Once again she could see that name on his lips that wasn’t hers. And once again she felt the terrible stab in her heart when disappointment crept over his face. </p>
<p class="work">“Yuya isn’t here”, he said. </p>
<p class="work">Rin nodded. “I know.” </p>
<p class="work">Hiragi Shuzo blinked in surprise. “Umm… Do you want to come in?” </p>
<p class="work">Again she nodded and stepped into the hallway. For the first time she noticed how dead this house felt. A thick layer of dust covered most of the surfaces and the walls were draped with cobwebs. </p>
<p class="work">“So, err… Do you… want to have a beer?” Mr Hiragi asked, turning towards the kitchen. “Oh no, wait. You probably don’t drink beer. Then how about a coffee?” He reconsidered for a moment. “That is if I even have coffee.” He gave out the attempt of a laugh, but it died away immediately. </p>
<p class="work">During all of her visits Rin had never seen him this uncomfortable. To be honest, she had never really taken notice of him. He had always been the bothersome obstacle she needed to pass before she could visit Yuya in that room. </p>
<p class="work">He looked old, she thought now that she took the time to look at him. Judging from the photos of him and his daughter she figured he had to be in his mid-forties, but he looked like he could be sixty already. </p>
<p class="work">Well… Rin couldn’t blame him. </p>
<p class="work">“Say… Does the school look like this as well?” she asked as she followed him into the kitchen. </p>
<p class="work">He gave her a questioning look before he grew aware of the mess around him. Old dishes were piled up in the sink and the entire table was covered with empty cans of beer and old pizza boxes. </p>
<p class="work">He sighed. “I have no idea. I’ve quit two-and-a-half years ago. I wasn’t able to be there for my students anymore.” His gaze turned contrite for a moment. “Yuya didn’t come and first Futoshi and then Ayu and in the end even Tatsuya changed to LDS.” He chuckled again, although it sounded hollow and choked. “Well, the Akaba’s wanted to assimilate us anyway, so who cares?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin cast down her eyes. “You do”, she muttered. </p>
<p class="work">Mr Hiragi turned around and his gaze softened. “You are very much like her”, he said and turned back to the cupboard. “I’m sorry, but it appears I don’t have any coffee.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin’s fingers curled into a fist. “Why do you say that?” she asked, her voice a quiet whisper. </p>
<p class="work">“Because it’s the truth”, he replied. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, shut up! I’m not talking about the damn coffee!” </p>
<p class="work">He met her angry gaze and for just a second a spark of real amusement flashed up in his eyes. </p>
<p class="work">“Me neither.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin gasped. “What? But…” </p>
<p class="work">“You look just like her”, he said pensively. “And I’m not talking about your face.” His expression turned wistful as he considered her. </p>
<p class="work">“One day I lost an important pendant my mother once gave me when I still was a child. It was one of the few things I had left of her and it meant a lot to me. I searched for it all day, but I couldn’t find it. When Yuzu asked me if I was sorry I lost it, I tried to pretend it didn’t bother me so she wouldn’t worry about me. Back then she told me not to lie to her in the exact same tone you just used. And when I still said I was okay, she started to yell at me, just like you.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin ducked her head. She hadn’t been sure how she would feel hearing something about Yuzu. For three years she had avoided all information about that girl, that copy of her. </p>
<p class="work">But Yuzu was no copy, right? She was a reflexion, showing how Rin’s life could’ve been if she hadn’t been born into the slums of the City. If she hadn’t been who she had been. A happier life with friends and… a family. </p>
<p class="work">“I’ve had nightmares”, she muttered and Mr Hiragi frowned at the sudden change of topics. “Ever since academia I’ve had nightmares, but they’ve grown a lot worse recently. I’m already seeing things while I’m awake.” </p>
<p class="work">She shook her head as she recalled the latest ones. Yugo who began to bleed to death in front of her eyes. Yuya’s terrifying red-glowing eyes hunting her. The doktor’s gaunt face flashing before her. </p>
<p class="work">“I know that I won’t be able to escape them”, she continued. “Not… Not while I’m Rin.” </p>
<p class="work">Mr Hiragi approached her, his look full of concern. “What… What are you talking about?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin cast down her eyes. “Yuya loves her”, she whispered. “Even now, after three years he still loves her.” She felt tears starting to form in her eyes and bit the bottom of her lip, trying to hold them back. </p>
<p class="work">“R-Rin, what…?” </p>
<p class="work">“Can’t you… Can’t you tell me how I can become her? How I can become Yuzu? P-Please… If you know it, then please tell me!” </p>
<p class="work">Reaching for his shirt, she slumped down to her knees and began to sob miserably. </p>
<p class="work">How disgusting. She had vowed to herself she wouldn’t cry. She had vowed she wouldn’t beg, but face him with her head held high. She really was pathetic. </p>
<p class="work">“Hey, Rin”, he began uncomfortably and grabbed her shoulders. “Umm… Please get up.” </p>
<p class="work">She didn’t know why, but the touch felt unbelievably warm and gentle. It was different from how Yuya held her though. This one was somehow more subtle. The way a father touched his daughter. Another touch that wasn’t meant for her. </p>
<p class="work">“Listen, Rin, umm… I don’t think you should reject who you are. I don’t think that’s what Yuzu would’ve wanted.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin clenched her teeth before she smacked away his hands. “Yuzu! Yuzu! Always it’s Yuzu! What about me?! What about what I want?!” </p>
<p class="work">Mr Hiragi’s gaze didn’t show surprise, only deep sympathy. Disgusting. </p>
<p class="work">“We are who we are”, he said, his eyes wandering to the mess filling the kitchen. “You cannot become someone else. No matter how bitter it is, you will always be yourself. I had to learn that lesson as well.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin’s anger faded and suddenly she felt empty. There was nothing inside her but the shadows and nightmares that threatened to consume her. </p>
<p class="work">“I see”, she muttered and turned around. “Then I’m sorry to bother you.” When she reached the front door, she stopped. “Mr Hiragi? You hate me, don’t you?” </p>
<p class="work">There was a moment of silence. “Why? Why should I hate you?” </p>
<p class="work">“Because I survived. I survived while Yuzu did not.” </p>
<p class="work">“No. No, I don’t hate you”, he replied, though Rin could feel he wasn’t looking at her while he did. </p>
<p class="work">A wry smile curved her lips as she opened the door. </p>
<p class="work">“Liar.” </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p class="first">Blue… A blue sky was overhead. </p>
<p class="work">Rin knew she should enjoy such a rare sight, but right now it reminded her too much of a different blue. She had seen it on photos and although it didn’t bear any hostility, she felt as though her very skin was itching from it. It felt as though Hiragi Yuzu was staring down at her from one horizon to the other. </p>
<p class="work">Yuzu… What would she do if she was in Rin’s place? How would she cope with the ghosts that haunted her? </p>
<p class="work">If their fates had been switched and Rin had disappeared instead of her, would Yuya be happy now? Would her father still be the lively, cheerful man from the photos instead of the unshaved, tired man she had just seen? </p>
<p class="work">Yes, probably. What a foolish question to ask after all. Rin didn’t have any family nor had she had any friends before she came to Standard. Apart from Yugo there would’ve been no one who missed her. There would’ve been no one who suffered because of her. And Yugo… There was no way to tell what would’ve become of him in that scenario. He would’ve been sad if he would’ve survived, for a few years or so, but eventually he would’ve moved on. He was never the type of person who remained stuck in the past. Not like Yuya. </p>
<p class="work">Girlfriend. That’s what he had called her. His girlfriend. And yet, she didn’t know how he really felt about her. Was she just an image of the girl he loved, or was there something else? Would he have looked at Yuzu the same way he looked at her? Would he have kissed Yuzu the same way he had kissed her? </p>
<p class="work">Oh, Yuzu… She must really hate Rin for stealing him away. For simply taking over his feelings for her. Yes. Rin was aware how disgusting she was. But it was the only way she could still go on. He was the only person in whom she could make herself see Yugo. </p>
<p class="work">It was all a lie, of course, but in a world that was filled with so many bitter truths, what other amendment could there be if not the sweet lies they whispered to each other before they fell asleep? Could anyone really blame her for clinging to this one self-deception? </p>
<p class="work">“Well, of course they can.” </p>
<p class="work">Surprised, Rin froze on the spot. She glanced around, but there was nobody near her who could’ve spoken. </p>
<p class="work">“Humans are such vile creatures, aren’t they? Did you notice they seem to like nothing more than blaming each other for their petty problems?” </p>
<p class="work">Although she listened closely, Rin wasn’t quite able to make out the origin of that voice. </p>
<p class="work">“Who are you?” she asked carefully, hoping no one would see her speak in case this was another hallucination. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, why do you worry about that? It appears to me you have much more serious problems to deal with.” </p>
<p class="work">Somehow she felt this hadn’t been an answer to her question. Then what…? No way! “How… How do you know my thoughts?” Rin whispered in shock, still glancing around for someone, anyone, who would explain this scary, malicious voice. </p>
<p class="work">“How? You must be a fool to ask that. I told you not to forget.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin stopped. Something about those words seemed awfully familiar. Then she realised and darted around to the glass front of the building she had just passed. </p>
<p class="work">Her reflexion stared back at her, its eyes wide with horror. Then an acknowledging smile crept over its lips. </p>
<p class="work">“So you do remember”, Rin heard her own mouth say. </p>
<p class="work">“Who… Who are you? <em>What</em> are you?” </p>
<p class="work">Her reflexion raised a brow. “I am you. And you are me”, it said as if that would explain everything. </p>
<p class="work">Rin gritted her teeth. “Then what do you want with me?” </p>
<p class="work">The girl on the other side of the glass gave out a laugh. “I am you”, she said again. “Why do you think there is any difference in us?” </p>
<p class="work">“No”, Rin replied firmer than she actually felt. “No, you aren’t me. I am me and nobody else.” </p>
<p class="work">“How interesting to hear this from someone who just wanted to become Hiragi Yuzu.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin stepped closer to the glass and the other Rin did the same, their fingers touching at the cold surface. </p>
<p class="work">“It’s okay. I know you are afraid”, her double said with a soft, almost caressing tone. “But if you accept me, we can become stronger. Together we’ll be strong enough to defeat your nightmares.</p>
<p class="work">Don’t you want that? Don’t you want to be free of the shadow of fear?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin needed a moment to find her tongue. “I…” She noticed her heart was beating faster, thrilled by the prospect of being free. Of being able to step out of her door without being afraid of seeing things, of feeling blood on her hand or hearing Yugo’s voice calling out to her. </p>
<p class="work">“I… I…” </p>
<p class="work">Her reflexion smiled soothingly. “I know”, she muttered. “I know how you feel. But you don’t need to be afraid. I will always be by your side.” </p>
<p class="work">Raising her gaze to meet the other Rin’s eyes, she cracked a wan smile of her own. “Thank you”, she muttered and took a step towards the glass, leaning her forehead against it, when suddenly she caught a glimpse of something that made her stop. Just behind her reflexion another, taller figure had appeared. It was just a vague shadow, but Rin recognised it in an instant. </p>
<p class="work">She gave out a shocked squeal and whipped around, expecting it to be behind her as well, but there was only the deserted street. Without wasting another second to turn back to the glass she started to sprint down the pavement, not caring for any people she might run into. In regular intervals the pavement beneath her feet turned into asphalt as she bolted over a street. It was a miracle she wasn’t run over, but she didn’t stop to look for cars or to gasp for air. Not until she almost crashed into the door of her house. With shaking fingers she fished her key out of her pocked and leapt up the stairs to her flat. </p>
<p class="work">She didn’t care to take off her shoes or her jacket, but hurried into her bedroom and slumped down on the ground, pulling the blanket over her head. </p>
<p class="work">“It wasn’t real… It wasn’t real… It wasn’t real… It wasn’t real…” </p>
<p class="work">Her voice was just the faintest of a whisper, but it accompanied her in the soft, warm darkness as she rocked back and forth, trying to forget what had just happened, along with the dark, terrifying memories they had invoked. That other Rin… and the figure behind her. </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p><hr/>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p>
<p class="first"><em>“No! Please! Stop it!!” </em></p>
<p class="work"><em>“Oh, but this is an important experiment. Now be a nice girl and hold still for a moment, will you?” </em></p>
<p class="work"><em>“No! Take that thing away from me! I don’t-”</em></p>
<p class="work"><em>“So? How do you feel, my dear?” </em></p>
<p class="work"><em>“I’m a lot better now. Thanks, doktor.” </em></p>
<p class="work">A loud noise startled Rin and she was surprised when she found herself in a room with white walls and a wooden floor instead of dark, cold stone. Her flat, she remembered. She was living in Standard now. Three years had passed since she had been freed from academia. </p>
<p class="work">What a relief. </p>
<p class="work">But why did she think about those frightening days now? She was living with Yuya. There was no need to recall those memories. So why? </p>
<p class="work">Absently Rin’s gaze trailed out of the window. There was a girl on the other side. A girl who had the same face she had. A girl who had the same hair, the same eyes. </p>
<p class="work">Her. It was her, not the ghastly image of herself which she thought she saw whenever she looked at any mirroring surface. </p>
<p class="work">It was almost ridiculous. Yes. Ridiculous… </p>
<p class="work">In the past few weeks the pathetic joke of a life she had lived had turned into a heap of shards and here she was now, wondering why bad memories found her so easily. </p>
<p class="work">Ridiculous. </p>
<p class="work">If there’d be someone else sitting here instead of her, she might have started to laugh. </p>
<p class="work">“Rin?” </p>
<p class="work">Surprised she looked towards the door where Yuya was standing, soft concern in his eyes. </p>
<p class="work">“What’s wrong?” she asked. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya smiled and began to approach her. “That’s my line”, he said and wrapped his arms around her. They felt warm and strong. Like they could really carry her if she’d only let them. </p>
<p class="work">“You seem so far away lately”, Yuya muttered. “If there’s anything I can help you with, anything you’d like to talk about, just go ahead. I’ll listen.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin couldn’t help but give out a choked chuckle. </p>
<p class="work">“I’m sorry”, she muttered, “but you won’t be able to help me. Still, I’m glad you are here.” </p>
<p class="work">She raised her head and Yuya leaned forward, brushing a tender kiss onto her forehead. “Don’t worry. I’ll wait for you. No matter how long it may take.” </p>
<p class="work">They remained like that for a while. Rin felt her neck starting to grow stiff, but she didn’t care. This moment was more important. </p>
<p class="work">“Say, what about the knife?” Yuya asked eventually. </p>
<p class="work">She gave him a clueless look before she followed his gaze to the knife she was holding. It was long and massive. Rin had bought it when she had started cooking for herself, but she had rarely used it. </p>
<p class="work">How strange. She couldn’t even remember when she had taken it or for how long she had been twisting it between her fingers. </p>
<p class="work">“I’m not sure”, she replied with a smile. Then she turned around and pushed it into Yuya’s chest. </p>
<p class="work">A red spot began to spread around the hilt. It looked almost like a tomato whose juice was pouring out. </p>
<p class="work">“Rin, what…” Yuya whispered confused before he took a step back and collapsed onto the ground. The juice spread farther, forming a small crimson puddle around him. </p>
<p class="work">Rin laughed. Yuya was such an excellent actor. She wouldn’t have been surprised if someone told her he was really dying in front of her right now, just like back then. </p>
<p class="work">Just like… Yugo… </p>
<p class="work">Suddenly Rin felt a horrid sensation in her chest and fell from her chair, collapsing to her knees. The smell of blood hit her with a shocking intensity and she covered her mouth with both hands, suppressing the urge to throw up. She saw Yugo’s lifeless body in front of her, his clean white jumpsuit slowly turning red. Then it turned back into Yuya, his wide, red eyes showing bewilderment and confusion. Confusion about what she had done. Confusion about how she had been able to… </p>
<p class="work">“No!” she shouted and turned away, squeezing her eyes shut. She didn’t want to see this! She didn’t want to be here! </p>
<p class="work">Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up. </p>
<p class="work">“You’ve killed him”, a soft, oily voice said. Then a wide smirk crept over the man’s gaunt features. “Well done, my dear. I’m proud of you.” </p>
<p class="work">Giving out a choked gasp, Rin slapped away his hand and backed away, shakily tumbling to her feet. </p>
<p class="work">“D-Doktor?! But… But you are…” </p>
<p class="work">“Dead? Yes, it seems that way. And I have to say it’s really bothersome.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin stared at him. She couldn’t understand how he was able to talk about his own death like it had no greater importance than the weather, like it was just a little inconvenience. </p>
<p class="work">“You know, you were one of my favourite test subjects”, he continued casually, taking a look at the flower vase on Rin’s table. “You were so full of energy and temper. It was a pleasure to work with you and-”</p>
<p class="work">“Shut up!” Rin shouted. Her shoulders were trembling from the pain his words evoked, from the endless hours of horror and helplessness she had suffered under his care. “You are dead. You have no place in this world anymore.” </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, but a part of me is still alive.” He smirked and his eyes widened, no longer hiding the malicious sparkle inside them. “Can you guess where?” </p>
<p class="work">She gazed at him for a second. Then she gasped and her eyes flicked to the window, to the other pair of eyes that stared back at her in disbelief. </p>
<p class="work">“No! This can’t be”, she whispered. “Your parasite has been removed. I will no longer follow your commands!” </p>
<p class="work">The doktor ducked his head and started to laugh his sadistic, chortling laugh. The one she had been so terrified of at academia. </p>
<p class="work">“My dear Rin”, he began and reached out his hand, his fingers spreading wide as if to grab something very large. “Are you so naïve to think something that’s been carved that deeply into you will disappear so easily?” </p>
<p class="work">His fingers grabbed her forehead and she felt a searing pain, blazing through her mind, stirring up all the long bottled-up memories of misery and despair she thought she had locked away forever. </p>
<p class="work"><em>“You are mine. You will never escape me. And now fulfil your purpose!” </em></p>
<p class="work">With a gasp and a racing heart Rin started up from the sheets. She actually needed to dig her fingers into the blanket for a few seconds before she could believe it was real. Shaking her head, she tried to shake off the horror that had seized her as well. </p>
<p class="work">Could what he said really be true? Was he really somewhere within her, in the worst, darkest parts of her mind? </p>
<p class="work">She sighed and glanced at Yuya who was peacefully sleeping beside her. His chest was rising and falling with each breath. He looked so innocent, so sweet. </p>
<p class="work">And yet she had tried to kill him. Just like she had killed Yugo. But… this time she hadn’t done it. This time he was still there. </p>
<p class="work">Tenderly she placed one hand on his chest and leaned forward to kiss him. Suddenly she felt something sticky beneath her fingers. She recognised this sensation. Her eyes grew wide and with a gasp she backed away, stared down at her blood-stained palm and then at the hilt that stuck out of his chest. </p>
<p class="work">“Y-Yuya?” </p>
<p class="work">Oh… Oh god, no! It had just been a dream! The knife… She had just killed him in her dream, right? </p>
<p class="work">Panic welled up inside of her as she desperately shook his limp body. </p>
<p class="work">“No, Yuya! Don’t do this to me! Please! Don’t… Don’t leave me alone!” </p>
<p class="work">Her voice failed as sobs once again racked her body. It hadn’t been a dream. She had… She had really… </p>
<p class="work">“Huh? Rin? What’s wrong?” she heard Yuya’s voice ask drowsily. “Hey, it’s still in the middle of the night.” </p>
<p class="work">She stared at him as he sat up, at the sleepy look on his face. Disbelievingly she palpated his chest, causing him to give her a confused look. There was neither blood nor a knife on it. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh, Yuya!” she cried and happily flung her arms around him. “You’re alive.” </p>
<p class="work">She could feel his confusion linger for a moment. Then he rested his head on her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze. </p>
<p class="work">“Don’t worry, Rin. It was just a bad dream. I’m not going to die.” </p>
<p class="work">Rin cracked a tentative smile. Of course he was right. Of course it had been just a dream. But when the doktor’s grinning face flashed before her eyes, she started and clasped Yuya so tightly her arms began to hurt. </p>
<p class="work">Somehow she felt like he would disappear the moment she’d let go of him. </p>
<p class="work">Disappear… Like Yugo. </p></div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Inescapable</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="entire"><p class="first">Tears fell down at Rin, soaked her hair, ran down her limbs and disappeared burblingly down the drain. When she opened her mouth, she could taste the salt on her tongue. At least if she was lucky. If she was unlucky, she tasted something warm, metallic instead. </p>
<p class="work">She gazed down at her palm. It appeared clean most of the time, but when she narrowed her eyes, she could see the crimson stains, mingling with the water and running down her arms. No matter how hard she tried to wash them off, they still remained, inerasable marks of what she had done. </p>
<p class="work">Killing her best and only friend. </p>
<p class="work">Why? she wondered. Why had she done that? Just because of the parasite the doktor had implanted into her brain? Was that the only reason? If so, then why had Ruri been able to shake off its control? </p>
<p class="work">At least that was what Shun had told her before the Lancers had disbanded. Ruri, his sister, the other girl who had shared Rin’s face. Who had been held captive at academia and turned into a puppet just like her. Why hadn’t she killed her brother when she had been ordered to? How had she been stronger than Rin? </p>
<p class="work">Was it love? Had Ruri loved her brother enough to fight? Was that the reason? </p>
<p class="work">And did that mean… that she hadn’t loved Yugo enough? </p>
<p class="work">How pathetic. That’s what she was. Pathetic, downright despicable and weak. </p>
<p class="work">Yes, weak. </p>
<p class="work">Fate had a cruel sense of humour, right? Why couldn’t it have picked one of the others to survive, Ruri or Yuzu? Someone who cared about their loved ones. Someone who hadn’t been sullied with murder already? </p>
<p class="work">Or was this her punishment? Was it her punishment to live on with the never-ending burden of regret, with the fear and the nightmares? </p>
<p class="work">She wished someone would give her an answer to that question. She wished someone would tell her to disappear, just like the others, to vanish from this world she had given nothing but suffering to. </p>
<p class="work">She heard someone knock against the door to the bathroom. “Rin? It’s almost time. You should get ready.” </p>
<p class="work">Ah, Yuya. Right, they had an appointment. But… for what? She couldn’t remember anymore. It actually didn’t matter anyway. </p>
<p class="work">She tried to reply that she was coming, but when she straightened up, the room suddenly began to swirl around her. She reached out for something to steady her, but all her fingers could touch were the wet slide doors of the shower. Her feet lost grip on the slippery floor and she fell, her head smacked into something hard and her mind grew dizzy. </p>
<p class="work">“Rin? Is everything alright?” Yuya asked alarmed. “I’m coming in, okay?” </p>
<p class="work">She opened her mouth to tell him she was fine and needed just a moment, but her tongue felt so heavy all of a sudden. </p>
<p class="work">“Oh god! Rin!” </p>
<p class="work">The tears stopped raining down on her and then Yuya’s worried face appeared above her. </p>
<p class="work">She tried to put on a reassuring smile. “I’m okay, Yuya. Don’t worry.” </p>
<p class="work">“No, you’re not”, he replied and placed a hand on her forehead. “You’ve been in there for far too long. Wait a second I’ll get you out of there.” </p>
<p class="work">She wanted to protest, but then she suddenly felt as though she was falling and the room began to spin around her. Yuya’s hands went around her and he levered her up. </p>
<p class="work">Although it embarrassed her to have him see her in such a frail state, she noticed it was no unpleasant feeling as well. It felt like she was floating on a quiet sea, carried securely by his strong, gentle arms. </p>
<p class="work">Suddenly she was put down on something soft and the touch disappeared. Harsh coldness assaulted her from all sides. Stricken by sudden panic she reached out and her fingers closed around something which felt like Yuya’s arm. </p>
<p class="work">“No”, she whispered. “Don’t go away.” </p>
<p class="work">His fingers stroked over her cheek and pleasant warmth spread over her face. </p>
<p class="work">“Don’t worry”, he muttered. “I’ll be back in a second. I’ll just fetch you a towel, okay?” </p>
<p class="work">Rin felt reluctant to let go of him, but after a second she did so nevertheless. She heard the dull sound of his steps disappear towards the bathroom. The coldness returned and she shivered, curling up on what she found to be the soaking sheets of her bed. </p>
<p class="work">She… She was the one soaking them. </p>
<p class="work">Suddenly the rough fabric of a towel was spread over her and Yuya began to rub the remaining water off of her wet body. </p>
<p class="work">Rin made a grimace. “I can do that myself”, she said. </p>
<p class="work">Yuya met her gaze. His eyes were shimmering with soft sympathy. “Okay.” </p>
<p class="work">Ashamed Rin turned away and proceeded to dry herself off. </p>
<p class="work">For some reason the dizziness inside her head grew worse. She heard a ringing sound which grew louder, filling out her entire mind, and flickering lights started to dance up and down in front of her eyes. She groaned and raised a hand to her temple. </p>
<p class="work">“Rin? What’s wrong?” Yuya’s worried voice asked, though it sounded like he was miles away. </p>
<p class="work">“I’m okay”, she muttered weakly and slumped against him as the room began to swirl. “I… I think I just need to lean against you for a moment.” </p>
<p class="work">Yuya’s gaze softened and he let out a sigh before he reached for the blanket and pulled it around her. </p>
<p class="work">“You’re going to catch a cold if you’re not careful”, he said. </p>
<p class="work">She smiled and rested her throbbing head against his shoulder. </p>
<p class="work">He was so warm, so reliable. A cosy feeling spread throughout her as she considered his face. He looked so much like Yugo. From the smooth line of his cheek to the soft curve of his eyebrow he resembled him in so many ways. His eyes blinked the same way Yugo’s had. His lips parted the same way Yugo’s used to. There was the same strained expression on his face. Even the way he threw up his arms and dug his nails into the towel around his neck reminded her of Yugo. </p>
<p class="work">“Rin? Why…?” he began, but his voice failed immediately, choked by the towel as Rin pulled it tighter. </p>
<p class="work">She felt a smile creeping over her lips. </p>
<p class="work">“Why? Because it is my destiny to kill Zarc.” </p>
<p class="work">She could see a spark of sadness flashing in his eyes and his resistance grew weaker. It was ridiculously easy. He didn’t even fight for his life. His body squirmed as his survival instincts struggled for air, but he didn’t flail or try to shake her off. As if he had accepted his death, just the way he had accepted her tears or her egoistic hugs. He really was no different than Yugo, naïve until the very end. </p>
<p class="work">The way he had held her in his arms, thinking she still was his old childhood friend. How pathetic. Well, pathetic people deserved to die. </p>
<p class="work">Die… Die… Die… Die… Die, like Yugo. </p>
<p class="work">“Noooo!!” </p>
<p class="work">Rin gasped as she fell to her knees. Confused she noticed she wasn’t in her flat anymore. The ground here was plainly black and devoid of any distinct features. There was no ceiling, although a circular structure of crystals surrounded her, irregularly reaching up like she was inside some sort of huge tower. It was of a dark violet hue, though there were inclusions of pitch black, giving it a gloomy, eerie look. </p>
<p class="work">What… What was this place? Had she been dreaming? Or… was this the dream? </p>
<p class="work">“Do you want to guess again?” she heard a mocking voice ask. A voice she recognised as her own. She turned around and met the scornful face that stared back at her from inside the crystal. </p>
<p class="work">“You”, she whispered and her mood grew a lot darker. “Take your hands off Yuya!” </p>
<p class="work">“Me?” the other Rin asked innocently. “But I’m not doing anything.” </p>
<p class="work">“Cut your damn lies. I know it was you who killed Yugo. And now… now you’re trying to take Yuya from me as well.” </p>
<p class="work">Her doppelganger laughed and her face disappeared only to reappear on a different edge of the crystal. </p>
<p class="work">“So there you go again, running away from the truth. How often do I need to tell you? We are one. Our souls are one. Our thoughts are one. Our wishes are one. If I am hurting him, that’s because you are hurting him.” </p>
<p class="work">“Shut up!” Rin screamed into the girl’s face. “I’m nothing like you! I… I don’t want to hurt him.” </p>
<p class="work">The other Rin’s smile grew into an amused smirk. “Why don’t you stop then?” </p>
<p class="work">Before she had the chance to answer, she found herself back on her bed. Her hands were still clasping the ends of the towel that was wrapped around Yuya’s neck. She tried to stop, but for some reason she couldn’t move. </p>
<p class="work">No. She could, but… suddenly she couldn’t see any reason to stop now. It was much more fun to feel his twitching grow weaker with every second. Yes, she wanted to enjoy every moment of it, every moment of watching him die. </p>
<p class="work">She strengthened her grip and increased the pressure, tried to squeeze every last bit of life out of him and… A hand touched her arm. </p>
<p class="work">Surprised, she turned her head and gasped when she stared into a familiar face. </p>
<p class="work">Yugo looked sad and both sympathy and disappointment were shimmering in his clear eyes as he shook his head. </p>
<p class="work">Rin felt as though she had just been doused with a splash of cold water. Her hands let go of the towel and dropped limply onto the bed. Yuya’s body convulsed and he fell to the ground, hoarsely drawing in a breath. Disbelievingly, Rin stared down at him, at his suddenly so frail-looking body. </p>
<p class="work">She had done it again. Once again she had tried to kill him. Just like Yugo. Just like last time he turned into Zarc. But even more frightening was how good it had felt. How right. She had… <em>wanted</em> it. </p>
<p class="work"><em>“You are me. You can’t escape yourself. Never.” </em></p>
<p class="work">Shaking with horror and guilt, Rin couldn’t help but curl up on her bed and start to cry. </p>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p><hr/>
<p class="work"><br/>
</p>
<p class="first">The hospital. Once again she was here, standing in front of Yuya’s room. Once again she wasn’t able to get in. </p>
<p class="work">After all how could she? How could she ever face him again? She had nearly killed him. Not only once, but twice. And if Yugo hadn’t stopped her, then… she would’ve gone through with it. She would’ve done what the other Rin wanted and killed him. </p>
<p class="work">No. Not the other Rin. It was <em>her</em>. She was the one who had wanted to kill him. Just like she was the one who had killed Yugo. There was no difference between her and the monster the doktor had made of her. They were one, just like she had said. And the next time… she didn’t know if she would be able to stop herself. </p>
<p class="work">Maybe it was better if Yuya didn’t have to see her again. He must hate her now. He should’ve done so from the beginning. </p>
<p class="work">She sighed and turned away. After a few steps she stopped and a wry smile curved her lips. This was so like her. Once again she was dumping all the reason on Yuya. Although it was her who was running away again. </p>
<p class="work">Yes, to be honest she didn’t have the strength to face him. It had been hard enough to meet the gaze of his parents when they had come out of his room, the same day the ambulance had brought him here. </p>
<p class="work">She had tried to bring out an apology, although she knew how vain and hollow it must’ve sounded, but Yuya’s mother hadn’t even waited that long. She still felt the burning mark her hand had left on Rin’s face, though it hadn’t hurt nearly as much as the hateful glare in her eyes. The same eyes that had looked so warm and friendly when she had visited Yuya at home before. </p>
<p class="work">Nevertheless the woman hadn’t said a single word. It simply hadn’t been necessary. She had ignored her husband’s tender protest and walked away without turning around to look at Rin again. </p>
<p class="work"><em>Go away and never get near him again.</em> That was what her eyes had said. And… And she was right. Disappear. That’s what she was supposed to do. Disappear from this world so she wouldn’t hurt anybody again. </p>
<p class="work">For some reason though, she was unable to do that. She had tried to slit her wrists, but her fingers refused to move before she could graze her skin. She had tried to jump from the roof of her house, but when she wanted to take the terminal step, her feet disobeyed her commands. </p>
<p class="work">Why? </p>
<p class="work">She didn’t know. Maybe… Maybe she was too cowardly to end her existence. Maybe she was simply afraid to die. </p>
<p class="work">How pathetic. All she could do was stand still and wallow in self-pity, unable to go on, but unable to let go as well. How utterly disgusting! </p>
<p class="work">“-in?” </p>
<p class="work">The sound of that weak, crackling voice behind her back made her freeze. Slowly she turned around and stared at Yuya who was standing in the door to his room. A collar was wrapped around his neck. He was obviously surprised to find her here, no less surprised than she was to see him up and about again. And yet, she wondered why. Why didn’t his gaze turn angry? Why didn’t he step closer to smack her like his mother had? </p>
<p class="work">A smile grew over his face. “-ang -ou ,-in.” </p>
<p class="work">Horror befell her and she clasped both hands over her mouth before she spun around and fled. </p>
<p class="work">She didn’t want to see him! She didn’t want to see his smile! She didn’t want to hear his frail voice speak so softly to the person who did this to him! </p>
<p class="work"><em>Thank you, Rin. </em></p>
<p class="work">That was what he had tried to say. </p>
<p class="work">Why? Why wasn’t he angry at her?! Why couldn’t he just… just hate her?! Why? </p></div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Sweet Despair</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="entire">
  <p class="first">Only dim light filtered through the curtains and disturbed the terrifying shadows in Rin’s room. She hadn’t opened them in days. She hadn’t left her flat in days either, spent most of the time buried beneath her blanket, staring into the twilight in front of her. </p>
  <p class="work">Yukari had come to visit twice, but Rin hadn’t dared to open the door. She had no idea how she was supposed to look her in the eye or what she was supposed to say and so she had just stood in front of the door and watched her friend through the peephole. </p>
  <p class="work">At her second visit Yukari had rung six times before she finally gave up. Not without giving the door a frustrated kick and shouting how stupid she was. Well, Rin couldn’t deny that. But she felt a little better after hearing those words. </p>
  <p class="work">“Yes, hate me. Hate me as well. That’s what all of you should do.” </p>
  <p class="work">Apart from the traffic noise from below or the muffled voices of her neighbours the only sound which disturbed the all-embracing silence was the occasional ping of her phone, indicating the arrival of a new message. Last time she had bothered to check there were eighty-seven new messages from Yuya, twelve from Yukari and another forty unanswered calls, but since then another twenty or thirty had appeared. </p>
  <p class="work">Needless to say she didn’t read any of them. She didn’t want to. She had been so foolish. To think she deserved to be close to someone. To think she had the right to have someone she could lean on. </p>
  <p class="work">“No, it wasn’t wrong”, the doktor said in his a little dreamy voice. “This way you were able to get close to him. You did it so you could eventually kill him off.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Shut up. It wasn’t like that”, she whispered. </p>
  <p class="work">“Don’t think such nonsense, Rin”, Yugo said annoyed. “Friends are not a question of deserving something. If you want to be friends, then you are friends. It’s that simple.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Shut up! I’m nobody’s friend. Or else… or else I’ll only end up killing them.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Ah, that’s right”, her own voice muttered amused. “Your only purpose is to kill.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Shut up! Leave me alone!” </p>
  <p class="work">“Oh, how long do you want to deny it? Look deep into your heart. You know it, don’t you? The reason why you are the only one who couldn’t disappear.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Shut up!!” </p>
  <p class="work">“It’s because it is your destiny to kill him. You are chosen to rid the world of this demon.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Shut-”</p>
  <p class="work">Rin couldn’t speak on. She was aware of the tears that were running over her cheeks, but she didn’t… she <em>couldn’t</em> acknowledge it. </p>
  <p class="work">She wished she could just forget. She wished she could go back to how she was when she and Yuya first got together. When he would hug her tenderly after she had one of her nightmares. When he would kiss her to make her forget for a moment that Yugo was dead. </p>
  <p class="work">Oh, Yugo… She wished she could go back to when they were still kids, standing at a conveyor belt of one of the many factories of the City, or snuggling close to each other when they stayed up at night and duelled under the cover of their beds, always alert for the quick footsteps that heralded the arrival of one of the sisters patrolling the dorms. </p>
  <p class="work">Sometimes she even wished she could go back to her tower room at academia. At least there hadn’t been any friends who called her. At least there she hadn’t woken up with the sensation of blood on her hands, or stumbled over a corpse on her way to the bathroom. And when she had looked in the mirror she hadn’t had to face a wildly grinning, sick image of herself. </p>
  <p class="work">She wondered what part of her would fall apart first, her body or her mind. Her supplies were running out and unless she’d actually go out and buy some new food, she was going to starve eventually. Her mind on the other hand… </p>
  <p class="work">Well, it had become difficult to tell whether she was awake or asleep. The things she saw were equally ghastly in both worlds. Yugo’s bloodied body being torn apart by carrion crows. Yuya gazing at her with wide, accusing eyes, his neck squeezed to a thin line. The doktor standing above both of them, laughing his fulsome, insane laughter. The other Rin walking beside her as she passed a window, a secretive, knowing smile on her lips. </p>
  <p class="work">And yet, she still wasn’t able to disappear. She wondered why. She couldn’t imagine anything more relieving than to die now. Maybe it was true and this destiny of hers kept her here, forever bound to this world, cursed to continue her slaughtering until someone else would finally hate her enough to release her. </p>
  <p class="work">She wondered who it was going to be. Yuya? His mother? The father of Yuzu? Or maybe Reiji would step in again and destroy her for the peace of his city. </p>
  <p class="work">To be destroyed… To vanish from this world… What a nice thought. So alluring… </p>
  <p class="work">She closed her eyes and relaxed, wished to be spared of any nightmares, sleeping or waking… for just one or two hours… </p>
  <p class="work"><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  <p class="first">The sound of a key turning in the lock pulled her out of whatever kind of sleep or trance she had been in. A streak of sunlight fell into the room as the door opened. It was Yuya who entered. This time he didn’t wear a collar. </p>
  <p class="work">Of course. How long was it since her last visit in the hospital? Two weeks? Three? She didn’t remember. </p>
  <p class="work">“I thought you’d be wise enough not to come”, she said, her voice hoarse from disuse. </p>
  <p class="work">Yuya didn’t answer as he closed the door and approached her, stopping in front of her bed. </p>
  <p class="work">Rin pushed herself into a half sitting position, her dirty, uncombed hair covering part of her vision, and considered his face. He looked… good, she guessed, better at least than she had expected. There were only faint marks left on his neck. What shocked her about him was the soft, a little sympathetic look in his eyes. </p>
  <p class="work">“You tried to kill me”, he declared plainly. Then he reconsidered and shook his head. “No. Not me. You said you wanted to kill Zarc.” </p>
  <p class="work">Ashamed, Rin lowered her gaze. “Yes. That is the purpose the doktor has ordained for me.” </p>
  <p class="work">Yuya drew in a deep breath before he sat down beside her, letting out a sigh. “I see.” </p>
  <p class="work">Rin’s fingers dug into the sheets as her whole body seemed to tighten up. “That’s… That’s everything you have to say?” she asked quietly. </p>
  <p class="work">“Yes.” </p>
  <p class="work">“But why?!” she shouted, hardly clenching her teeth. “You… You are always so kind and understanding. Why can’t you simply be angry at me for once?! Why can’t you hate me like you’re supposed to?! I… I almost killed you!” </p>
  <p class="work">After a moment Rin noticed how heavy her breath had gone and she wiped over her eyes before she looked up. Yuya wasn’t even looking at her. His gaze was distant and somewhat wistful. </p>
  <p class="work">“I have no reason to hate you”, he muttered. “A lot of people hate Zarc. Including me.” He gave out a sigh. “I wouldn’t mind to die because someone wants to kill him.” </p>
  <p class="work">Suddenly Rin felt as though someone had pulled the ground from under her feet. This… This wasn’t what she had expected. This wasn’t what she wanted. And yet… </p>
  <p class="work">“You idiot”, she whispered and leaned against his shoulder. “You are not like me. You shouldn’t be so cool about your own death. After all you have people who love you, friends, family.” </p>
  <p class="work">“But you have people like that as well.” </p>
  <p class="work">She gave him a surprised look before she ducked her head. “S-Stop that, Yuya. I know it’s not me you want. I… I have tried to be like Yuzu, but… I… I can’t. I’m sorry.” </p>
  <p class="work">A finger touched her chin and he raised her head until her face was eye to eye with his. </p>
  <p class="work">“Actually, I’m not sure if I care about that”, he whispered. </p>
  <p class="work">His red eyes looked blank, empty, and yet at the same time incredibly deep, like a bottomless pool she could let herself float in, drown in the gentleness of his look. She only noticed she had stopped gazing at them when their mouths touched and they started to caress the softness of each other’s lips. </p>
  <p class="work">Slowly, as their kisses grew deeper, he got up and she allowed him to pull her with him. One after another their clothes dropped to the ground until all that mantled them was the velvet darkness of the room. </p>
  <p class="work">Somehow they ended up on her bed again, Yuya on top of her, their breaths going heavy as their bodies began to move in a certain rhythm. She heard Yuya whisper her name and his voice was husky and full of desire. </p>
  <p class="work">Giving out a low moan, she opened up to him, gasped as he entered her, drowning out the terrifying visions that had haunted her in the past few days. </p>
  <p class="work">Yugo. The doktor. The ghastly mirror Rin and even Yuya’s own horrid images. She could feel all of them fade away as she gave into the rhythm. With each second Yuya’s thrusts grew wilder. </p>
  <p class="work">“Yuya… Please, slow down”, she muttered huskily, but he continued, pushed even fiercer into her. </p>
  <p class="work">“Ouch! Y-Yuya! You’re hurting me!” </p>
  <p class="work">She finally stopped moving and gave him an angry glance, only to gasp in shock when a pair of glowing, crimson eyes stared back at her. </p>
  <p class="work">A dark, dreadful shadow began to form around Yuya, brushing over her exposed skin like frigid fire. His fingers dug painfully into her arms and suddenly they didn’t feel gentle or even lustful at all. They only expressed cold, relentless desire. </p>
  <p class="work">She tried to break free, but his grip grew stronger, his thrusts turning even more forceful. </p>
  <p class="work">Rin felt something cold form in her chest. Fear pulsed through her veins. She was helpless, defenceless, entirely exposed to the cruelty of Yuya’s other persona. There was nothing she could do. </p>
  <p class="work">“Y-Yuya! Stop!” she wailed and tears of pain appeared in her eyes. </p>
  <p class="work">Yuya’s face remained cold and unmoved. “You All Craved For This”, he said in his deep, wrathful voice. “You Made Me Become More And More Violent. This Is What You Wanted, Isn’t It?” </p>
  <p class="work">Rin bit the bottom of her lip to suppress a scream. Mustering up all her strength, she freed her right hand from his grip and slapped him as hard as she could. </p>
  <p class="work">He froze, stared down at her impassively for a few seconds. Then his eyes grew wide and the crimson glow faded. </p>
  <p class="work">“R-Rin… What…? Oh- Oh god, what have I done?!” </p>
  <p class="work">He got off of her and backed away until his back hit the wall. Horror and self-blame blended on his face. </p>
  <p class="work">“Oh god, Rin! I’m… I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to…” </p>
  <p class="work">His voice caught and he ducked his head. Tears rolled over his cheeks and fell down onto the sheets beneath him. </p>
  <p class="work">Rin still stared at him in shock. Her body was shaking from the imprint of his sudden change. Nevertheless, now that she saw him cowering there, miserably clasping his head, she felt a tentative smile grow over her face. “No. You didn’t mean to. I know.” </p>
  <p class="work">She sat up and reached out for him, though Yuya jerked away when her fingers touched his cheek. </p>
  <p class="work">“Rin, I… I’m sorry. I urged you to this. And then I… I didn’t know… I didn’t expect…” </p>
  <p class="work">“It wasn’t you”, she muttered, wrapped her arms around him and pulled him against her. “It wasn’t you.” </p>
  <p class="work">Now it was her turn to cradle him as his shoulders began to tremble and his whispered apologies turned into helpless sobs. Once again she hated herself. She hated herself for pretending, for stroking over his head while in truth she wanted to back away until he couldn’t touch her anymore. </p>
  <p class="work">She was frightened. Frightened of the darkness inside him. The darkness that had caught her in the most vulnerable moment, when she had lowered her guard entirely. Then she thought of the face that continued to meet her in the mirror, of her own darkness. </p>
  <p class="work"><em>“It’s because it is your destiny to kill him.”</em> That was what she had said. Twice she had tried to kill Yuya already. She really had no right to be afraid of him. </p>
  <p class="work">After a while he stopped crying and fell silent. Rin continued to hold him, unsure what else she was supposed to do. </p>
  <p class="work">“Yuya?” she asked after a few minutes had passed. “I’m not mad at you for what happened. I want you to know that.” </p>
  <p class="work">Yuya responded by giving her a light squeeze. “I’m scared, Rin”, he whispered, his voice so faint it was barely audible. “I’m scared of this demon that lurks inside of me. Every morning I wake up wondering if I’ll be able to control it for another day. I have no idea when or where he’s going to take me over next. I have no idea whom I’m going to hurt.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Yuya”, she muttered sympathetically. </p>
  <p class="work">“Can… Can you help me, Rin?” His fingers dug into her back and his voice was an indistinct mixture of miserable sob and desperate whisper. “I know you can’t release me from this fear, but… can you… at least stay with me? I… I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be alone. Please…” </p>
  <p class="work">His voice failed and he convulsed, his body shaking so hard Rin thought it might break any moment. </p>
  <p class="work">“We both have our burden to carry”, she muttered, stroking over his head. “Pain is all we can offer each other.” </p>
  <p class="work">He stopped shaking and raised his head, giving her a confused look. </p>
  <p class="work">“Yuya”, she said gravely as she gazed deep into his crimson eyes. “You won’t find any happiness with me. And unless you kill me first, I am going to kill you some day.” </p>
  <p class="work">For a few seconds none of them moved, not even to blink. Then Yuya’s gaze softened and he rested his forehead against hers. </p>
  <p class="work">“I don’t care about that”, he whispered. </p>
  <p class="work">Rin smiled, though she didn’t feel happy. </p>
  <p class="work">Just what was she thinking? Zarc. She was going to face him again. And she was going to hurt Yuya further. She was going to be spattered with blood once more. How… How could she possibly enjoy that? </p>
  <p class="work">“Oh, damn it”, she muttered. “What a cruel bond Yugo and Yuzu have left us with.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Right”, Yuya replied before he pulled her closer and kissed her again. </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>